Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Reaching out for a sleep pattern...

This is a feel good post directed at my very amazing know who you are...

The dictionary defines sleep as:
- verb (used without object)
1. to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake.
The dictionary defines pattern as:
- noun
1. an arrangement of repeated or corresponding parts, decorative motifs, etc: although the notes seemed random, a careful listener could detect a pattern
2. a decorative design: a paisley pattern

3. a style: various patterns of cutlery

4. a plan or diagram used as a guide in making something: a paper pattern for a dress

5. a standard way of moving, acting, etc: traffic patterns

6. a model worthy of imitation: a pattern of kindness

Now for the purposes of this post, we only need to focus on items Sleep (1) and Pattern (5) & (6).

And here we go...

Heads up little ones! I've had a bit of a chat with you Mum and it seems apparent that we need to strighten out this lack of Sleep Pattern situation. Because it's driving everyone a little bit insane. Including yourselves.

I'd like to bring your attention to the following statement regarding sleep:
to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake.
Now, I'd like to point out that sleep is wonderful. And the above descritpion of  'natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness' is an amazing thing. People pay a lot of money just to experience this natural suspension of consciousness - yet as youngsters you have a free supply of the physical and mental exhaustion needed to make this suspension a regular occurance throughout your day, and dare I say, your evening!

Trust me - make the most of your opportunity to map your days around being unconscious. Because work places frown on their staff being 'suspended' during work hours. And Schools are equally unforgiving.

Now, moving on to these 2 tid bits of info regarding Pattern:
a standard way of moving, acting, etc: traffic patterns;

a model worthy of imitation: a pattern of kindness
So, some standard ways of SLEEPING you might like to consider would certainly be anything up to 2 day time naps (say, 11am and 3pm) and then a full nights sleep from 7:30pm to 7:30am. Feel free to request a drink/snack during this 12 hour period of unconsciousness.

And in terms of a model worthy of imitation - I think if you do a survey of your friends you'll note most of them have sleep patterns that are well worth considering and imitating. And as for night sleeping, I'm sure your Mum would be happy to give you a demonstration. And she'll happily allow you the imitation rights to the demo free of charge, providing you use it regularly.

You would be stunned at how simple it all is. No, really. It is. Closing your eyes and laying down on a soft bed is all it takes. If you want music, that's fine. If you want cuddles, that's fine too. Heck, if it means hanging a Llama from your ceiling to sing you lullabies to get this pattern happening, Llamas will be sourced and trained.
Sadly, the days of free sleep are numbered. The older you get, the harder it is to find time to fit in this blessed activity. And just when you think you've found the time, something happens and it has to be postponed.

Make the most of it. It'll be gone before you know it...

**I know this won't solve the problem hun, but I just hope it gives you a chuckle...and I threw in the Llama's just for you...x**


  1. Ha! Loved it! I wish, I wish, I wish!!!

    I would just like to say to your friend (she knows who she is, apparently!) that five years of horrendous (horr.en.dous) sleeping by my son has culminated in a cheerful cherub who at six is actually quite partial to a sleep in. Miracles happen, they really do!!


  2. Thank you so much. :)

    Last night was still unsuccessful. HOWEVER we achieved a nap today. First one in a month. Hoping for some luck tonight.

  3. Hope you have better luck tonight hun - I have everything crossed for you! x


Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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