The Block (Heads)...

I love The Block.

L.O.V.E. It.

When it's on, no one is allowed to speak and I record it to re-watch later.

I was devestated to discover that I had missed the first week's worth of episodes for 2012, but I got to watch last night.

I have to say - I was slightly horrified.

Not by the shite-style building, not by the lack of hot running water and not even by the scungy toilet that they all have to share.

No, my main concern was the fact that they appear to have gone for contestants who have limited brain power. And I'm not sure people like that should be handling power tools, or even allowed to sit on a dining chair without a harness and a helmet.

There are 2 contestants that specifically worry me...

SOPHIE & DALE

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Now - Dale, he appears to have his stuff together. And thank god for that because the Missus arrived on day 1 wearing a Zimmermann dress and wore it while cleaning up the dump site that was to be their bedroom.

And proceeded to whinge about it.

Who does that!? If you can afford a Zimmermann dress, and afford to wear it while renovating a demolition site, then I don't know what the fuck you're doing on a program like this. Why aren't you lazing around the pool while Jeeves brings you another g&t and Sven works the shopping stress out of your shoulders?

And complaining about it on national TV actually just makes you look a bit stupid. Seriously. You could have changed your clothing - or accepted the fact that you've signed up for The Block, not Australia's Next Top Model, and Zimmermann dresses are inappropriate.

Even if your dress did look like it already had paint thrown on it.

I do have to say - their elimination round kids room was awesome! Miss 3 may or may not have seen that they put a swing in the room and demanded to know why she doesn't have a swing.

We're still in negotiations.

DANI & DAN

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Now, Dani has a head on her shoulders. And a foul mouth - I always like the ones who swear right from the start, it makes them seem more 'normal'.

But I will say she has a very competitive, outright 'bitch streak' in her. I understand that you're in a competition, but to ignore people when they say hello, simply over choosing a floor covering strikes me as a bit childish.

You might want to think about your strategy, Dani.

Dan is the one I worry about. His entire vocabulary seems to consist of 3 words. Oh. My. God.

Yep - we get the idea, dude - the job ahead is overwhelming and you're crapping your dacks that you've signed up for it.

However, there are so many other options, in terms of something to come out of your mouth.

Some suggestions I've put together include:

• Good grief Charlie Brown!
• My goodness, isn't this charmingly derelict?
• Good golly, I believe the shock has created a hole in my pants.
• Crikey!
• I'm a flamin' galah for thinking this would be a 10 week getaway (channel your inner Mr Stewart).
• We need a break, we need a KitKat!

It also worries me how bright Dan's teeth are. I'm thinking some form of radioactivity would explain both the vocab problem and the blinding tooth issue. Honestly, Dan, it looks creepy on Tom Cruise - add a deeper shade of orange to your tan and you could be his twin.

His creepy, night-light-tooth twin.

So, there's my take on The Block so far. Do you watch obsessively like me, or are you reality TV indifferent?



P.s: Thanks to the glory that is the internet, I've caught up on all the episodes I missed and I now feel I can sleep at night, not to mention form further judgements about the contestants and be a hero in my own lunchbox.

Because that's how I roll.