Toot, Toot, Chugga, Chugga, Brand New Car!

Well, we did it.

Went and paid the deposit today and the new car has been ordered.

I'm giddy, but feel slightly hung over too. I think it's the aftermath of spending money.

We bought the Mitsubishi ASX Aspire 1.8L Turbo Diesel in Titanium.

As a result I've realised I'm going to have to learn to drive all over again. The test drive was fun because it was just that - a test drive, and I was too scared to touch anything because it wasn't ours. Now I'm actually going to have to read a manual to work out how to put the radio on.

I wish I was joking.

I am a technological doofus. I don't have an iPhone because they confuse and frighten me. I figure being this intimidated by life now will make for easy transition when I get Alzheimer's. It won't be much of a change.

But the Guru said this car will make my life easier - once I master the art. I'm not sure I'm ready for a car that requires an 'art'. But, hey, that's what I get for pointing out whizz bang accessories to sway the car choice my way.

Although there really wasn't much competition. Not in my mind anyway.

I have to say, though, I'm not sure how much easier my life will be with a car that's smarter than I am. I mean, we've all seen the movies where cars take over the world. Chances are our car will see my weak and feeble mind and decide a hostile takeover will be easier than it thought and why not take action today?

It could spell the end of the world as we know it.

This could also be indicating the end of the few functioning braincells I have and I'm slipping into delirium.

Whatever.

So, there you have it. We're upgrading the family 'Big Red Car', which will be dark grey.

Oh no...I'm probably going to be one of those people I yell at in my road rage moments. A person who bought a new car they can't drive properly.

Sigh - Karma's a bitch.

Welcome to the world of debt - please, sit down, you'll be here for a while...

Well, I'm back after my small melt down last week. The concept of stupid people and dodgy parents got me down and I needed some down time to get back to myself and remember why it is that everything is worth..well..everything.

And so the day has arrived - the day when we're signing our lives (souls) away to the bank for a piece of the Australina Dream. Our own home.

At 4pm today I'll be scribbling ink on a wad of paper that will own us. And I'm not afraid to say that I am just a teeny bit scared. Scared of stuffing it all up.

Because when you default on rent, it doesn't feel too bad. You're only depriving your greedy landlord of some cash in the short term. And let's face it - if they can afford a rental property in today's market - they ain't poor people!! But a mortgage where they'll take everything you own, including your knickers to get their money back. Well - that's just a whole new level of 'holy crap'.

The Guru is somewhat shit scared too. So scared that he's prepared to give up smoking so we always know we have enough money to pay for our home. Fair enough (although concerning that he believes he smokes enough to spend a mortgage repayment!). Not an unwelcome result - I've been whinging at him for years to give up. If I had known all it would take was a shite load of debt - hell, I would have tried harder to spend more time in Myer!!

But I get the feeling that the same terrifying loyalty to debt repayment wouldn't count if it was the result of a terrible shoe/perfume/make-up/clothing/accessory spending binge. Which is sad.

And yet, you can't live in a shoe, or a perfume bottle or in a handbag. So the house really does deserve all this dedication. Although if someone said to me I could live in a pair of Manolo Blahnik's, I think my life would be complete...almost.

And it is with that thought that I leave this and pack up to start the next chapter of our lives. And yes, while it's not a Manolo Blahnik house, it's even better than that. Because I'll be living in it with my own little family - and they make me complete.

And then there was silence...

Well, I'm silent anyway. Much to the Guru's delight I might add. Tonsillitis - thou art mine enemy.

But on a brighter note, we have signed the contract and we are almost owners of our first home! A bit late, some people might say, to be getting one now. You should have done this when you were 21 (because at the moment I'm feeling old and decrepit at 26), not married and with no children. Well pooh on you. If you live in Darwin you'll know that trying to buy here requires a signed deal with the devil and the bank (one and the same at times), and that's just to go look! And more importantly, if you spend a lot of time looking at other states and comparing prices you'll be like us, lamenting the amount of money they ask here for the (questionable) quality of the home. But we've struck gold, and have done very well. Pats on the back all 'round!!

I'm excited, the Guru's excited and so is the Toddler. Hooray for us!

OMG OMG OMG...

So the Guru called...

Apparently we just bought a house.

Why is that so exciting and yet nauseating at the same time? Oh, that's right - we're half a mil in debt for the next 30 years.

On the bright side I can hang anything I want, wherever I want and those stupid 3M hooks can kiss my arse. No more falling pictures in the middle of the night, no more sobbing when something that looks so fabulous is too freakin' heavy for a stupid 3M hook.

I can get rid of palm trees instead of tolerating them shedding fronds all over our yard, get new lawn and have the garden we want.

No more pointless rent - hello worthwhile investment.

Did I mention it has the most amazing pool...if I was the owner I'd be kicking myself for putting something so awesome in a property that I sold less then 2 months later. But it's ours now - mwahahahahahaha!

The Toddler is going to love us - she isn't worried about the house, she's a water baby and as far as she's concerned we just bought her some serious dollars worth of pool water. We are super parents -yeah!

I've just looked up and noticed that Cindy Crawford is hawking something that keeps you young and that they test on melons to keep them from rotting. Interesting. If I ever have a complexion equal to that of a rockmelon peel, I'll be lining up for that stuff. It will stop mouldy holes appearing in my face. Which is always a bonus I think.

Shame it doesn't make that mole on her face disappear. It's cute from a distance, but the close up's are scary.