The JellyBean...

I've not been posting too much about my pregnancy - somehow it still feels 'unreal'.

I felt somewhat silly and embarrassed for having been so excited last time, only for it to not work out the way we planned. But then we can't always predict these things.

Let's just say I thought I jinxed myself last time - that the Universe was punishing me for being so cocky and proud, it had to take me down a peg. Well, it was a harsh lesson and one I was determined not to repeat.

So here I am, trying to be cool, nonchalant and detached.

Except last Monday I got to see this:

Behold! The JellyBean...

Apart from being chastised by the ultrasound tech for having such a difficult surname, and that it meant I couldn't have my entire first name on the picture as a result (it was missing the 'y' - I'm not loosing any sleep, honey), it was a fairly standard appointment.

I was so happy I nearly screamed stoked to see a flicker in the JellyBean.

I was disappointed to find out that I'm not as far along as I thought, going by LMP dates. But then again, given things have been so erratic, I'm happy to be pregnant at all!

I was disappointed that The Man couldn't be there, but happy my Mum and Miss 3 were, and we got to go out for breakfast afterwards. I had Eggs Benedict and almost fainted from the excitement.

I am embarrassed by the Instagram pic of my 'belly' that I posted the same morning. Oh the shame! I thought I was 10 weeks (or there about) and to find out that I have a 'jelly belly' at only 6 weeks is mortifying. My stomach muscles have obviously gone on annual leave thinking their 'tight' job was done for a while. Bastards.

The JellyBean is nestled in a challenging spot, and so pictures weren't as easy to get as I'd hoped. Very different from Miss 3 who was all show for every ultrasound.

I swear she knew we were looking.

Miss 3 in her first picture - we dubbed her 'Peanut'...

And so, tomorrow morning we have our first appointment with the OB. I am so happy to have been able to book Dr Mitchell - she's the bomb, not to mention 1 of only 3 private OBs in Darwin.

There are some awesome birthing programs in Darwin, including Homebirth through the Midwifery Group Practice, the birthing centre where you can go home after 4 hours, and the public hospital also have some darling midwives and fab birthing suites.

But after Miss 3, I'm going private again and I wouldn't have it any other way. I felt this way after visiting a friend when she gave birth at the public hospital (before I was even pregnant with Miss 3). Apart from finding some else's umbilical cord clip with cord still in it, under her bed - her freaking bed nearly tipped over, which would have catapulted her newborn daughter into a wall!

Now, I'm the first to say that this is NOT the norm, and when we told the midwife on duty she was horrified and had it dealt with ASAP - but for me, that one experience was enough to know I wouldn't be going there to give birth.

I had visions of infection and death. I was already pretty highstrung with the idea of birthing with no drugs in our own home - fear of death was enough to push me over the edge!

Happily everything turned out  perfect - I got an epidural  and  a healthy baby.

So here's to everything being perfect again, and to me not pissing off The Universe with my pregnancy babble.