I love lists and calendars and diaries and reminders and pin boards - it has absolutely no effect on my ability to be on time or even be somewhere on the correct day, but I love to feel like I have everything written down and a time line to apply in the forseeable future.
The trouble is, I'm also very impatient. I hate waiting around - I hate waiting to go out somewhere. I always wait to get ready at the last minute so when I'm finished we head straight out the door and we're on our way. Sure, it means I'm always forgetting something, but I don't like butterflies of excitement in my stomach for too long.
Pregnancy, while it's an amazing thing and we have been wanting this second baby for so long, manages to capture everything I dislike about time and planning.
I have to wait 9 whole months to meet this new person. And not knowing its gender means I can't plan as I had hoped to.
It's killing me. I won't deny that I cried a little bit after our scan last week - having to walk away without the magic answer to my burning question was bitterly disappointing. And I only had the luxury of focusing on that one point because everything else with our Jelly Bean is perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes and a button nose just like its big sister.
Perhaps it's the universe telling me to take a 'chill pill' and stop being so uptight about it all. That having spent the weekend playing memories over and over in my mind, as I drag out the tubs of baby clothes from Miss 3, would have made no difference to my life today. I would still be here at work doing what I'm doing, whether I knew what we're having, or not.
The only thing different would have been this post.
The kicks I'm feeling make me smile, but serve to remind me of everything that we need to do before Jelly Bean arrives. Although I must confess the line between 'need to do' and 'could do but it's not absolutely necessary' is
In no particular order, I present:
The To Do List
- Conclude the gender debate and ask the Obstetrician to check at our appointment in July!
- Don't get upset if we still can't tell what we're having, just accept that this child will be as stubborn as you are.
- Replace front decking
- Install new gutters
- Pressure clean all decking and oil before the wet season returns
- Finalise Miss 3's enrollment for school (because enrollments for 2014 are already filling fast at the school we've chosen!)
- Replace wall to create 3rd bedroom/study
- Decide on theme for baby's room
- Paint baby's room
- Find wardrobe/chest of drawers for baby's room
- Bring cot and change table upstairs from the store room and re-assemble
- Buy new cot mattress
- Sort through baby clothes from Miss 3 OR buy boys baby clothes
- Wash baby clothes, fold and put away
- Organise bedding for cot
- Finalise lay-by of new pram, capsule, rocker and Miss 3's booster seat
- Make final payment to obstetrician (Sept)
- Finalise tax return for 2011-12 year
- Decide re: maternity leave options from work
- Decide re: maternity options from the Government (i.e. baby bonus or maternity leave scheme?)
- Complete pre-admission paperwork and return it to the hospital
- Finalise meal plan for The Man and Miss 3 while I'm in hospital
- Cook and freeze meals for The Man and Miss 3 for my own peace of mind...
The Man says I'm too uptight about it all, and I know he's right. I doesn't mean I'll change, but I completely understand where he's coming from.
Especially when I'm busy having a panic attack over the fact that our child won't have a room and I'll have to strap it to the fan blades because I'm convinced The Man will be building the new wall on my due date. Conveniently overlooking the fact that the cot could go in our room if necessary - but I'm overly dramatic when it comes to being in a flap.
It's part of my charm.
I'd like to believe I'm not the only obsessive-compulsive, list making, perfectionist, nut-bag in this world. Please share your unhinged moments and we can all read over them with a cup of tea while breathing a sigh of relief that we're not alone...
