Kickin' Back

Well, the Guru is flying out tonight - or rather, a disgusting hour of tomorrow morning - and I am henceforth doin' the solo-parent thing for 10 days.

And I've been thinking about it...and thinking that it won't actually be too bad. Sure, I'm not looking forward to addressing temper tantrums alone, but maybe this is my chance to step up and become "serious, can use the naughty spot when I have to Mumma" rather than "endless warnings and eventually use the naughty spot when it doesn't mean anything  Mumma"?

Because I would really like to make a break through with the feral 'tude of the Toddler. Seriously, feral.

It has also occurred to me that I get the bed. To myself. All of it's king size glory for me to snuggle in my quilt and snooze, uninterrupted, not having to fight for some form of covering for my arse (or any part of me, for that matter) before it freezes and falls off. Because now the dry season has arrived, the temp drop at night is wintery.

Well, for those of us used to night's being around the 28 degree mark it's wintery and when it drops to 18 degrees you whip out the thermal underwear. And start knitting scarves that won't be sold to Supré as a dress, after all.

I can eat my bodyweight in chocolate with no witnesses. Which means it never really happened. So there will have been no calories consumed ergo no weight gained.

EXCELLENT!

I might actually have the energy to blog at home without having to worry about silly things like going to work, getting dressed or washing myself. Or something.

And when he returns from his care-free trip, so begins the ultimate, milking-it-for-all-it's-worth, evil-enjoyment time where I do very little and he does everything else.

I'm thinking I might stop cleaning a few days before he arrives home - just so he has something to do during those returned home, jet lagged hours of restless non-sleep.

I have yet to put in my Duty Free order though. Partly because there's really nothing that I would like - it all seems silly and frivolous.

And yet, I can't help but think that the brief joy I would experience in receiving Duty Free items might be worth it anyway. We'll see what happens.

And so, for now I am signing off to start my holidays, which begins with attending the Easter Egg Hunt at the Toddler's Day Care Centre.

Ah, small children hyped up on excitement and sugar. What better way to start my relaxing break...

Just run...as fast as you can. They'll only knock you down...

Disappointment

So this post is going to be a complete 'poor me' job. Sorry, I'm just putting it out there like it is. That way, if you're not in the mood you can navigate away and come back another day for a cheery post when my Xanax has kicked in...hang on, what?



So we got an invite in the mail from a very good friend of ours who is getting married at the end of this month. I would love to go. I REALLY would. But right now, with the house and all, we're trying not to overdo it financially and airfares from Darwin to Adelaide require a deposit...in blood and black market internal organs.

Because Qantas have us by the balls. And if you fly Virgin Blue you have to travel for a full day visiting every capital city in Australia on the way. And pay an extra zillion dollars for the privilege**.

Jetstar is fine - if you don't mind flying at the worst times known to man. And I'm sorry, I want to travel in comfort and at a decent hour. Arriving 2 hours before the wedding and having to fly back 3 hours after it finishes to get a cheap flight is not the best idea I can think of.

So, we've made the decision not to go.

And this brings up the whole stinging ouch of another Adelaide wedding we missed...just over a year ago...at the Adelaide Zoo. And from the photo's Tam (you can visit her at Madomi...I've mentioned Tam LOADS of times!) has shown me it was fabulous and I am still bitterly disappointed that we weren't there.

And I still feel like a shite friend for not being there. But Tam is forgiving on a whole other level...and thank god for that!

So not being able to go to this wedding is extra stingy for previous memories, and new ones we'll be missing.

Which then brings me to a whole new level of  'why the hell did we move here? I want to go back to Adelaide where most of my friends are and I can shop regularly in Myer again. DARWIN IS CRAP'.

Yeah - it just starts a whole spiral of hatred for our location. Which is somewhat ironic since we just bought a house here. And buying a house generally means you're happy living where you are.

Well, not today. Today, it sucks.

So, in an effort to try and regain some sort of standing in my friends lives, I am going to be taking home some suggestions at trips to Adelaide in the New Year. Because it's total rubbish that we've missed weddings, births, various parties and other fun things...including the joy of being in the same place as my friends when we all have small children.

I guess it's that childhood ideal...you always think you'll be in the same place and that you'll all get married, have children and grow up around eachother...

And I'll admit it. I miss having more than 2 variations to the weather. Because rain or no rain but bloody HOT all the time is not as cool as it was when we first got here, all pasty white, fresh off the plane from winter-ish hell. But I know that the chill of an Adelaide winter would probably kill me now.

But the reality is life takes you in all sorts of directions and you can't predict where that will be. It could be 1km away, it could be 1 million km's away. And who knows, maybe distance and not being there day to day doesn't matter so much.

But when it comes to important milestones for friends and family I feel the pull of my hometown...and I want to be back there so badly...

So I will continue with the solution of a New Year's visit. Because it will attempt to soothe the sting.



**Richard Branson - you can kiss my arse. You're a billionaire, and you gave a free flight to the obscure brother of Sylvester Stallone because Hamish & Andy think his music is good. Well, how's about helping a sister out and schlepping the free tickets over this way?

 My friends wedding is a WAY better cause than some guy who did the music for the Rocky movies. And god knows there were too many of those. Besides, his brother is Sylvester Stallone! How's about he moves into Sylv's basement and leeches off him for a bit?

 Oh wait...right...the movie music opportunity...maybe that was the beginning of the end for the leeching??

I'd like to leave a message for Sanity to call me back...

Apparently the world has gone bonkers.

First some woman sues Qantas because a little boy screamed in her ear, and her ear started to bleed. And apparently Qantas was negligent because the cabin crew didn't stop the child from making noise.

Well lady, what did you want them to do!? Dose him with sleeping pills and gag him!? Did moving seats not come to mind, or were you simply working on more evidence for your 'case'.  I understand you're from the US - land of the free-for-all - but for goodness sake, get a grip on reality.

If it was your child upset on a plane journey, would you be carrying on like this? No - of course not. You saw your chance and took it. Congratulations on being a total twit.

And Qantas are the biggest tools for organising a private settlement with this looney. I would've let it go to court, and watch the judge's face when confronted with a raving lunatic who chooses to travel on public transport and whinge about the noise.

And as for the parents suing their doctor for not picking up that their child had Down Syndrome. Don't get me started (although I'm going to ramble because that's what this post is about...)!! Those tests are not 100% - they only ever give a risk factor as a basis to judge whether there might be the POSSIBILITY of your child having Down Syndrome or any other chromosomal abnormality. And that is explained before you have the test done. I know - we had it done for the Toddler! And if you didn't have the test, then it was your choice, so why is the doctor at fault?

This makes me angry because the parents stated that they would have terminated if they'd known about their baby's condition. That makes me so sad and annoyed. Do they have any idea how many people there are in the world who would give anything to have a family of their own, and can't!? Every child is an amazing person and has the potential to be anything they want, regardless. But if you have no faith in your child, then your child will have no faith in themselves.

Yes, I understand that a child with a condition like Down Syndrome would be expensive depending on complications. No, I don't completely understand how it feels to discover that your child has this condition. But what I do understand is that there is a FAR better way of coping with something as challenging and sad as this. Yes, it would be a shock and, coming to terms with the new reality covers all the emotions including anger, denial and sadness. But going to court over it is not adjustment. That's just wanting to gain a tangible target for how they're feeling and wanting a public forum for venting their pissy mood at the universe.


So as a result they're suing for wrongful birth. How DARE they! That makes it sound as if their baby was a mistake. Unwanted. Unloved. And it breaks my heart. How can any mother birth a baby and not feel instant love for that child? How will that child feel when they grow up and realise that their parents decided they needed someone to blame for who they are?


Life time of therapy, anyone?

Trust me, the world knows you must feel cheated and that nature screwed you over. But I'm sure if that little baby had a choice, it would have said "Thanks, I'll have long legs, long lashes and a cute smile. But hold the extra chromosome, I'm watching my birth weight." It may have also requested more understanding parents.

It makes me so angry and disappointed to think that we live in a world where we think it's OK to find a scapegoat for our problems. It's not OK - it's awful. We don't control nature (and that's a GOOD thing!) and let's face it - Life's a bitch and then you die.

So why have we stopped accepting the things we can't control, and started ignoring the things we do control? Why have we decided that life MUST answer for itself? Last time I checked life had us under the thumb, not the other way around. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we'll be able to focus on all the awesome things we do have, rather than be revolving around all the challenges thrown at us.


There is, undoubtedly, a lot of hormonal and emotional raging in this post. Especially being a mum and being someone who would love to have another baby. And being someone who it's just not happening for at the moment. And it's very disappointing.

So I'll get off my soap box tonight and leave the philosophical, ethical and heart felt discussions to others who are far more qualified, and far less emotional. And I'm going to take my own advice and focus on all the awesome things I have happening, rather than the one thing that's not.

So I'm going to kiss the Guru and tell him I love him, go in to kiss the Toddler goodnight again and see if I can't get some sleepy time snuggles. And if I can't sleep I'll start planning the Toddlers room in the new house we've bought and remind myself how lucky I am to have what I do. No buts.