Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Friday, 3 September 2010

Just hook me up to the jumper leads...I'll take it from here...

I just found a hair. Yeah, I have lots of them on my head and 'down there'. But I found a hair where I really was hoping never to locate one.

(due doomsday music...and pictorial representation...)

Thanks Mr Google!

I mean, I always knew one day it might happen...but I was thinking maybe when I was about 85 and it would simply be that my eyebrows had migrated down my face due to lack of maintenance.

Speaking of which, I should really get mine done...I currently look like I have 2 hamsters living on my face...but I digress...

But to find a hair, that is independant and NOT part of my hamsters - I mean, eyebrows - is just purely unacceptable!

Does this mean that I will now have to ask the beautician to simply lather my face in wax and rip it off, rather than two neat lines above my eyes? Will I have to ask the Guru to share the mirror in the mornings while we shave our chins together? Because that's the kind of bonding experience I was really hoping to avoid with my husband.

I'll just have to skip the precise side of electrolysis and ask them to hook jumper leads onto my love handles and flick the switch. Yes, I may be completely hairless in the end (either from the electrolysis effect or simply the hair being burnt from my body), but a good quality wig these days can look fabulous. And I'd be saving money on the hairdresser having to style and colour my hair AND my chin.

I'll also avoid the danger of trying to shave my legs, shower, fend off 2 hungry cats and a busy toddler and balance all at the same time. It might not sound complicated, but the bruises on my butt and the shaving nicks in my legs would beg to differ.

General consensus is that if you've had a child, you're more likely to find rogue hairs due to hormones. But I haven't been pregnant for 19 months now. Has my rogue hair really been laying dormant for this long and only now decided to break free!? And I thought I was simply meant to get a 'snail trail' and then it all falls out after birth?

I'm not ready to have chin whiskers. I'm not ready to have whiskers of any description, much less those that enter a room and wave to people before I do!

And so, with great trepidation I will now have to enter my bathroom this evening, armed with my trusty tweezers, and rip this bitch out.

And if it has friends...beware...I have access to electricity.


  1. Oh rip it woman - and threaten to do the same to any other nasties popping their heads up to say hi!
    Mrs Woog

  2. haha, totally! Here's hoping threats keep away and additions to the clan and this one learns it's lesson by being ripped out of my face!

  3. Oh man. You had me in stitches.

  4. Glad it made you laugh - all part of the service ;)

  5. Oh god Kel you had me rolling on the floor (literally!) in laughter! Hope you taught it the lesson it deserved! Maybe just keep the tweezers on the vanity bench and threaten any future strays lol


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