Digital Parents June Blog Carnival!

**My apologies for this post being late - I have the flu (and bollocks to the flu, I'd like to add!). I managed to assemble the few brain cells that aren't completely stuffed and we've pressed 'publish'. Hopefully it's not a total balls up**

WooHoo!!


This post means it's half way through June and only three more weeks until my husband stops working stupid-end-of-financial-year-hours and returns to the fold.


I would just like to say that my sanity will be THRILLED to see him. Miss 3 will also be glad to have him back and it'll mean between the hours of 4:30pm and 8:30pm I will no longer hear:

• Is Daddy home?
• When will Daddy be home?
• Can I check if Daddy's home?
• Why isn't Daddy home?
• Why is Daddy at work?
• Can I go to Daddy's work?
• Can I call Daddy?
• Can I call Daddy, again?
• I can't eat dinner without Daddy.
• I don't want you, I want Daddy!
• Will Daddy ever come home?
• Why are you crying?

Over the next couple of weeks I'm tempted to bring bed time back to 5pm.

So - without further ado, I bring you the Digital Parent's June Blog Carnival!!

• Georgia from Parental Parody is bringing us 'FFS?! Friday: The Karmic Edition'. An epic (long winded) take of why it's important to eat your veg. And also to get your rings sized to fit.
• Twitter: @Parental_Parody
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/ParentalParody

• Michaela from Five Frogs on a Blog would like to present 'A Love Letter to My Brain'. I came to the realisation that the batshitcrazy parts of me were just as worthy as the sane parts. Thought my brain might like to know that I finally get it.
• Twitter: @fivefrogsblog
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FiveFrogsOnABlog

• Kristin from the epic Wanderlust is bustin' out with 'I Went to the Media and Here is Why'. Because of concerns for my family's' safety, I contacted the media. As a result, a local news station does an investigative report on why my ex-husbands child pornography case has stalled at the local level.
• Twitter: @wanderlust_lust
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/wanderlustlust

• Jodie from Parent Wellbeing will attempt to answer the ageless question 'Does it get any Easier as your Kids get Older?'. A question came through recently from one of the parents in our online program around whether things get easier with time. And whether, armed with this knowledge, parents can relax a bit more in those early years. The answer is yes...and no!
• Twitter: @parentwellbeing
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/parentwellbeing

• Beck from The Rambling Mummy is tackling 'A Hard Decision'. Post is about my decision to return to work early and how it was hard for me to make that choice.
• Twitter: @ramblingmummy
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/RamblingMummy


• Jess from Whoa, Mamma! is proud to bring us 'My Best and Worst Mothering Moments: brought to you by Facebook'. In this post I confess and share about my shameful addiction to Facebook and how it culminated in my worst act as a mother. On the plus side, I share how the fabulous community of mothers online saved my sanity and helped bring out the best in me.
• Twitter: @JessWhoamamma
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/whoa.mamma.jess

• Salwa from 'Salz Dummy Spit' would like us to know 'I'm that Mother'. It's a post about being that mother that does these things that some mothers and people frown upon.
• Twitter: @_Salz_
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/salzfoodblog

• Rachel from Redcliffe Style is bringing us '10 Things: Qualitites I Value in Friends now that I am Nearly 40'. This post is about qualities I look for in friends now compared to when I was younger. I need more than someone that likes the same nightclubs, same wine and the odd sneaky cigarette. I am looking for friends that make me want to be a better person.
• Twitter: @RedcliffeStyle
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/Redcliffe.Style 

• Bernice from 'btsoi blogs' would like to present '(Almost) Wordless Wednesday'. A series of photographs of my boys in the backyard. My older son was a little upset and my younger son took it upon himself to go cheer his big brother up.
• Twitter: @btsoi

• Talia from 'The Climbing Tree' is updating us on 'Infant Dairy Intolerance: Lior's Story'. This post is about my son and my experience with infant dairy intolerance. It has been a heartbreaking few months, and we're finally on top of things. We've struggled through poor doctors, poor health, and a plethora of different remedies, treatments, and experiements to finally get to the bottom of his health issues!
• Twitter: @taliacarbis
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/climbingtree

• Lisa from 'Two Point Five Kids' is proud to bring us 'My Mother's Day'. Just a snippet of my Mothers Day – the lows and......and......and......the one nappy change my hubby did before he went to work.
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/twopointfivekids

• Rachel from 'Mummy Muddles' is making us jealous by 'Escaping the Everyday'.
• Twitter: @rachkln
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/mummymuddles

• Susie from 'New Day New Lesson' wants us to remember 'Don't Wait for Diease to Force Your Hand'. Disease, especially cancer, has a way of forcing your hand. A way of making you re-evaluate what needs to be changed and what to keep. What I have learned from my patients is to try and not wait until disease forces you to a make a change you know and you need to make.
• Twitter: @newdaynewlesson

• Denyse from 'Tales of School Days Too' is bringing to us 'Families Week Day 1'. I'm Denyse Whelan, and as a retired school principal, mother and grandparent I blog about families, schooling and life. This post is called Families' Week. Day 1. Family Rules and Habits where I outlined what our family's life has been like, and invited readers to do the same in comments. I hope that you find this interesting and comment too! Comments are the connections we make through our blogs. I love that!
• Twitter: @denwise1
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/talesofschooldaystoo 

• Rachel from 'The Kids Are Alright' covers the news that 'You're Not Special' (but in a nice way!). "You are not special. You are not exceptional." Harsh? These words were spoken by a high school teacher to his students at their graduation ceremony this week.
• Twitter: @_kidsallright
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheKidsAreAllrightAustralia


• Janet from 'Footprints Australia' brings us 'Yummy Mummy or Motherly Mother?'. What is the difference between a yummy mummy or a motherly mother? Which would you rather have...and which would you rather BE?
• Twitter: @footprintsmag
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/footprints.australia


• Yvette from 'Delightfully Tacky Lil Squirts' is bravely telling us about 'Papsmear - Hospital Visit to get Treatment for Pre-Cancerous Cells'. I found out I have HPV CIN III Virus: Pre-Cancerous Cells before they turn into Cervical Cancer. This post is Part 5 - my journey to the hospital to get them removed. And how it is so vital for every woman to get have regular papsmears for this silent killer.
• Twitter: @DTlilsquirts
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/DTlilsquirts 
 
 
• Carly from 'Tune into Radio Carly' wants us to know about 'Skin Hunger'. Skin hunger sums up how I feel about the lack of touch in my life. I have a severe skin condition called ichthyornis and though am loved and touched by doctors for treatment, I yearn to be touched lovingly. I was overwhelmed with the readers who related.
• Twitter: @carlyfindlay
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/tune.into.radio.carly
 
 
• Rhonda at 'Pink Ronnie' brings us her journey 'On Blogging for 10 Years'. This October, Rhonda - or Ronnie - will have been blogging for ten years. In this post, she reflects on the roller coaster journey, especially why she ran away from her blog and how she came back again.
• Twitter: @pinkronnie

• Shelley at 'Tropical Mum' is sharing 'The Gift of Letting Go'. She was only 15 years old, a Cree girl in a frozen northern town, practically a baby herself. What she was thinking at the time, I'll probably never know, but now that I am a mother, I can try to imagine...
• Twitter: @troppomum
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/troppomum


• Belinda from 'belblogger5' is happy to present 'Learning to Write'. I wrote it after I found a whole heap of paper containing all my youngest daughters squiggles. I even found she had accidentally written a word which I thought was hilarious.
  
  
• Monique from the 'Your Cheeky Monkey' Blog presents 'A Picture Says a Thousand Words'. I'm sharing a very special photo of my new baby girl with her 2 big brothers!
• Twitter: @yrcheekymonkey
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/YourCheekyMonkey
  

• Eleise from 'What's on in Wollongong' would like us to know 'Why we are Raising Money for Kids Fund'. This post is about training to run the City 2 Surf in August and about the daughter of one of the team members who was born without a heart beat but survived!
• Twitter: @Thegongwhatson
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/whatsoninwollongong

• Sazz from 'All That Sazz' is popping her Carnival cherry with 'Weaning and The Four Old Breastfeeder'. When cyberspace was all a flutter over the Time Magazine 3 year old breastfeeding cover story, I was quietly breastfeeding my 4 year old, grappling with the changing nature of our breastfeeding relationship as she ages in a culture that shows underwhelming support for breastfeeding at the best of times.
• Twitter: @allthatsazz
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/allthatsazz

• Ali from 'At Home with Ali' is another Carnival newbie and would like to show us that 'Summer Fun = Messy Play'. My post is a photo essay featuring all my kids' favourite outdoor messy play activities from the previous summer.
• Twitter: @athomewithali
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/athomewithali  

• Crissy from 'Phenomenal Woman' would like to share her 'Mother's Day'. What started out as a disastrous Mother's day, turned out to be one of the best this far. All of my cherubs in the one place, at the one time, a rare occurrence. Even more so, being treated to my beautiful Boof, cooking dinner for me!
• Twitter: @CDelloiaco
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Phenomenal-Woman

• Thuy from 'Inside a Mother's Mind' is bringing to us 'Feelings & Emotions: The Value of its Expression'. As parents we need to teach our children how to understand and express their feelings and emotions. But first, we must model this behaviour so they understand that it IS okay to be sad sometimes.
• Twitter: @insidea_mm
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/InsideaMothersMind

• Deborah from 'Learn with Play @ Home' wants to show us how easy it is to make a 'DIY Writing Board'. This seemingly simple post ended up being one of my most popular of all time. probably because of the versatility, simplicity and fun of the DIY Writing Board. Here I show you how to make your own DIY Writing Board to use as a memo board for you or as a fabulous learning tool, promoting early literacy for kids.
• Twitter: @Learn_with_Play
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/learnwithplayathome

• Beatrix Quills wants us all to know that 'Attachment Parents get Frustrated Too'. This post is about how aspiring to be an attachment parent doesn't mean you have to be perfect! If we strive for a close relationship with our children, and try to learn from our mistakes, we're practising the most important parts of attachment parenting.
• Twitter: @BeatrixQuills
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/BeatrixQuills

• Jodi from 'Mummyhood101' is sharing a 'Childhood Memory'. This post came about after thinking about all the fun things I did as a kid, and what I wanted my own kids to experience! My favourite night of the year was Cracker Night! :)
• Twitter: @mummyhood101
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/mummyhood101

• Claudia from 'Crafty Little People' is making us get handy with her step by step guide to a 'Home-Made See-Saw'. My kids attempted to make a see-saw with bits and pieces from the pile of rubbish we had been collecting down the side of our house. This gave my husband and I a good idea to build them a see-saw. The kids absolutely love it so we wanted to share how we made it. Enjoy!
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Crafty-Little-People-blog

• Enid Bite'Em is talking about our favourite thing as parents...'Sleep DeprAvation'. Sleep DeprAvation is about why it is perfectly normal to put vegemite in the freezer, toothpaste in the shower, think your husband's head is an alarm clock, or write poetry to your vacuum cleaner about its power to settle your crying baby (or is that just me?)
• Twitter: @EnidBiteEm
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/EnidBiteEm

• Natasha at 'Home of the Small' is covering 'Great Expectations'. The post is about the day we went in to have our 20 week pregnancy scan & what happened when we wanted to find out the baby's gender.
• Twitter: @l_littlelove_l
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/littlelovecompany

• Kylie at 'Octavia and Vicky' is showing us 'Easy DIY Wall Art'. This post is a how-to for some super cute and super easy wall art. You could have a custom art piece on your wall in just a few minutes!
• Twitter: @octaviaandvicky
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/OctaviaAndVicky

• Lara at 'This Charming Mum' is sharing 'On the Party of the Year: Access All Areas!'. It’s the party of the year and anyone who’s anyone will be there. Join us for the red carpet arrivals, the food, the fashion and all the behind-the-scenes gossip. Well, it’s a pretty big day when you turn 4 isn’t it?
• Twitter: @thischarmingmum
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/This-Charming-Mum  

• Danielle is proud to present 'Stress is a Four Letter Word'. This blog post was really a call to all mothers who find it hard to be honest about how hard it is to be a Mummy. I have lost so much and sometimes feel so guilty admitting that I do it tough and get frustrated and angry. I want people to understand that even if you know that life is fleeting it is OK to still admit that you get your cranky's on sometimes, just like everyone else.

• Kate from 'Mee Too' is reviewing the 'Wallace & Gromit: World of Invention at Scienceworks'. My post is a review of the recently opened Wallace & Gromit exhibition at Scienceworks, which we attended on the opening day and realy enjoyed.
• Twitter: @meetookids
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/meetoo.com.au


• Lisa from ' New Life on the Road' is updating us on 'What Went Down at School the Other Day'. A reflection of what went on at the Primary School with one of our sons Teachers. We had to have an interview with our second grade primary school teacher because she was concerned with how little he knew. It was his first day back at school after being Homeschooled for over a year.
• Twitter: @newlifeonroad
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/NewLifeOnTheRoad
  

• Cas at ' Peaches and Maple' is showing us around her newly renovated home with 'House Tour - Lounge Room'.
• Twitter: @peachesandmaple
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/peachesandmaple

• Claire from 'Scissors Paper Rock' is entering the debate on whether 'Breastfed Babies Are Smarter'. I ran into a friend recently who was absolutely devastated that her 8month old was self-weaning off breastfeeding & was now only taking a bottle of formula. I looked over at my 2 healthy, thriving formula-fed babies & thought about the overrated debate between breastfed & bottle fed. This re-emerged some memories of when I had my first born so I decided to blog about it.
• Twitter: @SPRockDesigns
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Scissors-Paper-Rock

• Kaz from 'Melting Moments' has some 'Tips for Getting Your Happy Snaps off your Hard Drive and into Your Home'. Here are my tips for organising your photos and getting them off your memory devices and out into your home where they can be viewed and appreciated.
• Twitter: @MeltingMoments

• Ash at ' Mumdeep' is making our mouths water with 'Crack French Toast'. Seriously the best, most addictive French toast ever, loved by kids and adults. You cannot stop at one piece.
• Twitter: @mumdeep
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/mumdeep 

• Danielle from 'Keeping Up with the Holsbys' is sharing the 'Victoria's Secret Diet'. I've never been one for diets but I gave birth 5 weeks ago and I immediately started jokingly referring to my eating habits as the Victoria's Secret Diet. We've all seen how those girls bounce back. A little ice cream? Sure, I'm certain it on the Victoria's Secret Diet. A glass of wine? Just a little, that's all I'm allowed on the Victoria's Secret Diet. Here's a very tongue in cheek account of my new diet and exercise regime to get me back on the catwalk in world record time.
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/KeepingUpWithTheHolsbys

• Kim-Marie brings us 'Let's Write: How Do You Start Your Day?'. From the Let's Write blog hop - a humorous tale of how Boyo and I are late every single morning, despite waking at 6am! 
• Twitter: @kimbalikes
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kimbalikes


• Kylie from 'Kylie Ofiu As Well' is helping us decide 'How to Prepare for a Recession'. With the global economy so uncertain and job cuts across the world, here's a little guide on how you can prepare and what you should do to prepare for a recession.
• Twitter: @kylieofiu
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Kylie-Ofiu

• Courtney from 'FoodMuster' is tempting us with her recipe for 'Kingston Truffles'. This happens to be a very simple recipe using Arnotts Kingston biscuits, cream cheese and chocolate. So easy, but such an amazing result and anyone can make them. I make these for get togethers and they don't last very long. They are also good to give as a present in a cute jar or bag. The best thing is that if you don't like Kingstons, you can use Oreos, Tim Tams, Mint Slice. Basically any cream biscuit that takes your fancy. Enjoy :-)
• Twitter: @renrut22
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FoodMuster

• Karen from 'Yellow Dandy Dreams' is telling us 'Why I Ditched the Baby Books'. This post is about my personal journey in Motherhood and dealing with the abundance of information and advice that you can be overwhelmed with as a new Mum. And, how I am learning to trust in myself and my Mummy instincts rather than thinking I "should" be raising my son a particular way. 
• Twitter: @yellow_dandy
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/yellowdandy

• Jan at 'Baby Parent Blog' wants us to know 'Baby Poo - What's Normal?'.
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/SettlePetalPCH

• Lisa from 'Mum of Adult Kids' is discussing 'Under-age Drinking. Is There Really a Solution?'. I wrote this post in response to media coverage of proposed changes to NSW liquor laws, making the supply of alcohol to a minor illegal even where their parent/s permit it. I have fairly strong opinions about under-age drinking, and having parented my kids through their teenage years, I've had a bit of experience with it too! But I'll be the first to tell you that I just don't have the answers.
• Twitter: @mumofadultkids
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/mumofadultkids

• Melanie at 'A Welcoming Hearth' is asking 'What makes you Happy?'. It is good in this world to focus on the things that make us happy. It helps keep us positive and in a better frame of mind.
• Twitter: @WelcomingHearth
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/AWelcomingHearth

• Tahlia from 'The Parenting Files' brings us 'Fun Outdoor Games'. Stuck on some outdoor games for the kids? This is my simple yet fun, interactive, educational ideas for outdoor games. And the kids will love it too!
• Twitter: @parentingfiles
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/theparentingfiles

• Emily at 'emilywebb.net' is highlighting how 'Barbie Kickstarted my Journalism Career'. I owe my journalism career to Barbie. As much as she is maligned, I wouldn't be where I am today without her.
• Twitter: @emilybwebb
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/emilywebbjournalist 

• Peta-Jo is teaching us all 'Lessons on Loving a Cranky Mother'. So what do you do when you love your kids more than your husband?
• Twitter: @misspetajo
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Peta-Jo 


• Bron from 'Big Brother, Little Sister & The Baby' is proud to bring us 'Bike Riding'. My fav May post is about my two children getting to bike ride together for the first time thanks to an adaptive trike my son got given, it was something i never dreamed possible due to his physical disability.

• Liz from 'Mumstrosity' is showing us her 'Mini Lounge Room Makeover'. Change is as good as a holiday - especially when it's so cheap!
• Twitter: @mumstrosity
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/mumstrosity

And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to the close of the Digital Parents June Blog Carnival!

A massive thank you to everyone who participated...

I would like to thank the Academy, Digital Parents, a deity I don't believe in and my second counsin's half brother on his father's side for the opportunity to host the Carnival this month and proving to my husband that when I'm on the computer it's for something sensible...(cue closing music to drown out the rambling...)

Wanted: A Modern Baby Chair, not an 80's Pleather Revival...

I had forgotten how expensive baby stuff is!

I mean, it's like a wedding - mention the 'baby' word and they'll add a little extra.

It may also have something to do with my taste. But I prefer to blame the manufacturers and retailers - it makes me feel better.

I am really pining after a rocking chair this time around. I got a really cushy, large armchair for when Miss 3 was born and while it is cosy, comfy and I ADORE it, the one problem we discovered very quickly was that a rocking function would have been a welcome miracle.

I have been trying to find a modern rocking chair. I'm not into these 80's revival, grey pleather rockers. They make me want to poke my eyes out with a fork. Or stare into the sun long enough to burn my retina's off.

Source. *shudder*

No offence to anyone who has or previously had one of these chairs. I have sat in them and, while they are comfortable, they just don't float my boat.

I really want something modern, comfortable and something that I can work into a baby's room without it being an eyesore.

I've managed to cut it down to 3 options, but I'm the first to admit they're quite possibly out of the price range (no matter how much I stare longingly at the pictures and WILL the price to drop by 75%).

Luca Glider Chair, $1,000 from montedesign.net. The closest thing available in Australia is the Ollie Ella Chair, which starts from $1,699 and can be purchased from babyology.com.au

The Luca Glider looks so good. And the Ollie Ella chair looks fantastic, too. I would be so happy with one of these, but I would have to sell a kidney and I'm not sure doctors look favourably on women who are wanting major surgery during pregnancy for the sake of a chair.

No matter how fabulous it is.

Oilo Penelope Glider, $1,349 from allmodern.com

I love this chair. It's gorgeous, and looks sooooo comfy! I like that it has a high back for support, cushioned arms and great padded seating. It's just a bit expensive, and when you consider that I'd then have to cover shipping to Australia...

Sob.

Nurseryworks Storytime Rocker, $750 from allmodern.com, available in Australia from metromum.com.au ($1,050) and bebeonline.com.au ($899.95) 

I love that you can fit 2 people on this chair...more specifically a mumma with a bubba and a Miss 3 who wants a story. This is perfect for long story time with feeds etc included.

Cheaper than the first two, and has more benefits! The fact that I can find it in Australia is awesome, but the dollar factor could be an issue with The Man. If not my conscience (who only shows up at inconvenient times like this...).

Overall the Storytime Rocker has my heart. It's perfect and ticks all the boxes. If this was bub #1 then I would probably pick the first chair, given that we would be back to 'disposable income' days and I'd only be thinking about managing one baby! But the rocker would fit us as a family, and it means everyone can be involved.

Perhaps it will go a long way to soothing any sibling rivalry...?

So tell me, did you have a rocker/glider for your bub? Did you find it freakin' awesome, or just a chair with a rocker bit on it? Which chair would you choose, if you had to do it all over again?

Liebster Love...

I was flattered to discover that Cathy from The Camera Chronicles included me in her Liebster Blog Award list!

This award is given to blogs that inspire others and have under 200 followers.

Thank you Cathy - this is so sweet!

To accept the award there is a little housekeeping to be done:

• Copy and Paste the award on your blog
• Link back to the blogger who gave you the award
• Pick your five favourite bloggers with under 200 followers who deserve to be recognised and leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have received the award
• Hope the five chosen bloggers will continue to spread the blog award love

I've chosen the following blogs because I think they are clever, thought provoking and absolutely inspirational.

• Peggy @ The Mama Diaries
• Little Miss Moi @ Little Miss Moi. Her girls are just too cute!
• Sara @ Tis The Life
• Amy @ Amy, Lime & Soda
• Jess @ Diary of a SAHM

So there you go -  check 'em out, I'm sure you'll love them!

Afraid...

I'm just going to come out with this - I'm afraid to die.

Why has this suddenly arisen? Well, for me, it's not sudden. I've always had this awful fear of death. And if I watch something based around death or dying for too long, I find myself getting panicky.

Now, I've experienced the death of loved ones. But this fear came along well before any of that. And it has intensified since the Toddler was born. I don't want to leave her - simple.

Last night I was watching the National Geographic Channel, and they kept advertising a new program about uncovering the lives of people from a graveyard in New Zealand. Awesome. Except they kept showing the gravestones and repeated phrases like 'final resting place' and I could feel my stomach start to churn and my chest get tight.

It started to make me think about my own mortality, that I can't live forever and I'll eventually have a final resting place. But I don't want that. I don't want to have a final resting place. I don't want to die - to no longer have a physical prescence, to no longer live my life, to be nothing.

So I ran away from the TV. Ran into the study and proceeded to have a small panic attack at the Guru's desk.

The Guru asked what was wrong but for some reason I couldn't say. I didn't want to say. I've no idea why.

They say a fear of death is normal. It's the unknown - we all fear the unknown to a point. And we can't escape it. We all have to die one day.

At this point I'm resisting the urge to run away from my computer. Run away from death while I can. Even though I can't.

It's so screwed up and so bizzare. And quite obviously not something people sit down and chat about over a cup of tea and a TimTam.

It doesn't always bother me. Really, it doesn't. It tends to sneak up on me when I'm tired and impressionable and my mind latches on to things that would never cross my mind under ordinary circustances. But at the same time I know it's the reason I can't sleep in a completely dark room. It's the reason I can't sleep in a perfectly silent room - I always have the TV on or the radio or something to create noise (and light) while I fall asleep.

And I've never analysed my little 'quirks' at bedtime, until now. Obviously my subconcious is making sure I have my 'comfort zone' all set to go before sleep. Not a bad thing.

Maybe one day I'll make peace with it. Maybe ít's something you learn as you get older.

The greatest mystery of them all. Not even National Geographic can solve this one.

Children's Movies have Emotionally Crippled Me

Tonight I watched Finding Nemo with the Toddler. Which is fine, except this time I wore my big girl pants and watched it all the way through.

Yes, usually when it comes to the sad parts, I close my eyes and block my ears until it's over.

I'll put it out there - I'm a sobber. A full on, runny nosed, gut wrenching sobber.

Disney and Pixar strike fear into my heart. The Guru refuses to witness the spectacle anymore. And it seems that having a child who enjoys watching the movies isn't providing a cure.

In fact, I'm turning the Toddler into a sobber, much to the Guru's chagrin. He was hoping for someone he could watch movies with that wouldn't use his shirt as a tissue. Maybe the next one.

But it has brought to my attention the number of movies that I cry over - and it's a wonder I manage to go to the movies at all. So I'd like to present 10 movies that have contributed to my emotionally crippled state;

KEL'S SOBFEST MOVIE-ROLL

Finding Nemo - When the Mum dies, and then Nemo get's taken and then again when Nemo and his Dad are re-united. It's an emotional minefield. Tear Rating: 3/5

The Lion King - When the dad dies and Simba crawls under his big paws just to be close to his Daddy. It's soul crushing. Tear Rating: 4/5

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2 - Dobby the Elf dies at the end of part 1 and they open part 2 with a scene of his grave. When we saw part 2 a couple of weeks ago, I picked up from where I left when it came to sobbing. I completely embarrassed the Guru. Tear Rating 5/5

An American Tail - I haven't seen this since I was 4, and it haunts me to this day. It took my Mum 2 hours to get me out of the cinema after we saw it, I was crying so hard for poor, lost Feival. I can't even listen to the main theme song (Somewhere Out There) without bawling my eyes out. I've had to cut and run when the music has come over the speakers at Coles. I run away rather than cry over my groceries at the check-out, again. I can never go back to that supermarket. Tear Rating 10/5. No, I'm not joking.

Transformers - I've only seen the first installment of Transformers, and I've decided that movies which give inanimate objects, such as cars, feelings and human-like qualities are just plain evil. When the cops hauled away the bee car and Shia LeBouf is yelling at them not to hurt the it, I broke down and couldn't pull it together for the rest of the movie. I'll be honest, I don't recall a lot after that moment. Tear Rating: 4/5

Bambi - The Mum gets killed. Need I say more? Tear Rating: 3/5

Tarzan - This is a sobfest from start to finish. The human parents dying, the baby gorilla dying, the big gorilla dying and bonding with Tarzan on his deathbed. Emotionally crippling. Tear Rating: 8/5

Lilo & Stitch - "They went for a drive...it was raining" ~ Lilo Oh man, when she says that I just bawl. And I proceed to bawl harder when Stitch takes his duckling story into the woods, waiting for his family...the entire story is so nice and it has a beautiful message, but to get to the end I swim there in my own tears. Tear Rating: 9/5

Ice Age - When the Mum slips into the water, and when the Dad get's his little boy back the Guru leaves the room and I spend an hour trying to collect myself. Is it just me, or does every Disney/Pixar movie kill off the parents one way or another? Seriously! Is it any wonder I'm emotionally unstable? Tear Rating: 5/5

Monsters Inc - I can make it all the way through this movie without a tear. Until Sully get's Boo's door back and see's her again. It's another one of those time's where the Guru leaves the room. Tear Rating: 3/5


So there you have it - proof that I'm not emotionally mature enough to be watching movies with the Toddler, or the Guru. And definitely not by myself.

Do you have a certain movie that causes drought relieving moisture in your locality? Or do you have your big girl/boy pants on all the time?

Acceptance and a Friday Fluff

Is it just me, or do other people think Stan Walker sounds EXACTLY like Anastasia when he signs his song 'Loud'?  Every time it comes on the radio, all I can think is that Anastasia is really trying to make a come back. And then I remember the truth. And I wonder, does that mean Stan Walker sounds like a chick, or does Anastasia sound like a dude?

Anyway.

I went to work on Monday and then proceeded to spend 2 days on the couch, when I wasn't being hauled around to the GP or being ultrasounded and told to fill my bladder...no, not that much...okay, drink some more, you let out too much....okay, can you let out 150ml?

Sure - would you also like me to fart the theme song to 'The Block'? Because I can - I've watched many, many episodes in the last 48hrs.

Please don't misinterpret my attitude. I'm still very hurt by what's happened - we both are - but if we don't keep moving forward, and if I let the black dog get a grip on this then I'll start going backwards. And I don't want that.

So after day dreaming about administering Chinese water torture on the ultrasound people and being able to get back to my comfy space on the couch, I dove into the world of reality TV and renovating.

But after a couple of episiodes, I found myself getting annoyed. Really annoyed. So annoyed, that I realised I was chewing something crunchy...and I was eating chocolate. Sadly, it seems that my annoyance with the universe denying us the large scale reno's and also denying us an addition to our family meant I started grinding my teeth.

And I have officially ground off a huge chunk from one of my two front teeth.

At this point, I'd like to dare you all to Google 'broken tooth'. Go on, I'll wait...

...

...

IS THAT DISTURBING OR WHAT?? Excuse me while I brush my teeth - and gargle with bleach.

I think it was right around the time I was examining the remains of my half eaten tooth that I decided a few things.

A) I was getting an appointment at the dentist ASAP...and he better have the happy gas and a new set of teeth ready and waiting.

B) Screw huge, expensive reno's. If we're gonna spend that kind of dosh, we should just build a brand new house and save a few bucks.

C) This house is a bit shite, so instead of doing a huge build, we'll work with what we have and make it a kick arse place that's on the smaller side.

D) We're starting with the bathroom, and something along these lines would work well:




Link

 With a few (read: lots) of tweaks our bathroom could be stellar. Am I the only one who dreams of having a freestanding tub? Probably...I always like to think of myself as a Jane Austen heroine.

Oh, Mr Darcy!

Ahem.

So on with the Friday Fluff!!

This one actually happened a week ago - I was standing in the hallway sobbing. The Toddler ran up to me, very sympathetic expression and gave me a cuddle and a kiss. She then asked to be put down because "I going to watch Chicken Little, Mummy. You stay and cry by yourself, now."

Apparently I had used up my sympathy allocation for the week.

Children really do remind you that life goes on, don't they?

Have a fab weekend, if anyone needs me I'll be in my freestanding tub with Colin Mr Darcy.



Credit



Friday Fluff

Last night, at bed time, we read 'Why I Love My Daddy' and 'Why I Love My Mummy'.

They are very sweet and are written in the children's own words.

The Toddler is a big fan.

So was I - until the Toddler discovered my shameful secret...

We came across a picture similar to the following:

The book reads "I love my Mummy because...she carries me."

The Toddler saw the picture and announced "I love my Mummy because...she eats kittens!"

My secret is out, and now I'll have to curb my appetite for kitten.

You Are Amazing

So tell me, do you believe you're amazing?

I am currently at work - mainlining caffeine and Red Rock Deli Honey Soy Chicken chips with my office door closed to avoid the crazies I work with being a productive and valuable member of the workplace.

Or something.

Whatever. My point is that, while many of us are Schleppers working Bloggers, some are lucky and get to work from home, or don't have to work at all. And, of course, not all of us have children, either.

I suppose, in a way, it's everyone's dream to be work free, or at least be able to work from home and not have to bother getting out of your jammies. Because workplaces just don't understand how wearing jammies to work would make life so much easier.

Besides, I've had a room full of people stare down my birth canal. A little thing like wearing pyjamas in public isn't as humiliating for me as it would have been pre-childbirth. And the first 3 to 6 months of parenthood (or unemployment) simply proves how much easier it is to go through life in your jammies, and how fabulous just a clean pair of knickers can make you feel.

And while I would have preferred to be at home, our situation is as such that it's not possible. There's no point in being upset over something you knew was never going to happen in the first place. No matter how many other parents clucked their tongues at me, or shook their heads and poured pity on my poor child who was going to ' be foisted into the clutches of child care workers who are all criminals anyway'.

Yeah, that comment was my favourite.

I found that being a SAHM was more challenging, if not more traumatic, than going back to work full time.

Nothing is more likely to make you lose your hair and chew all your nails off than the thought of being picked to death by a Mum's group over all the things you're doing wrong. And I will never return to a Mum's group again without a whip and a chair. Or a bottle of hard liquor.

Some gems I recall, even now, include;

"Does your daughter always breathe like that?"
~ Are you seriously judging the way my daughter breathes!?

"I start my day at 5am, go for a run with the pram (and, one would hope, the child), come home and make our macrobiotic, organic, gluten/colour/flavour/addidtive free, recycled cardboard based meals for the day and then proceed to go through pre-school brain training with Agamemnon/Pear/Facebook/Diva Muffin. What do you do at home all day?"
~ Well, apart from give my child a name she won't have to change when she's 18, I don't roll out of bed much before 8am if I can, and then I'll drink coffee while she makes mess in the lounge and just generally has a good time. Once the coffee has kicked in and we've finished our breakfast of champions (Coco Pops for me, Weet-Bix for her) I spend time with her as a child - we play games and go to the park and just spend time together - including having naps together! I'm all about having naps - they're awesome. My child also eats whatever we've got going at the time, and if that means her lunch is a cheesymite sandwich and a choclate donut (okay, I eat the donut most of the time - but only after she's had a bite...maybe), then that's fine. I'm going to spend time with my daughter rather than being all day in the kitchen. And as for the brain training, well, someone in your home certainly needs focused attention on their brain, and I don't think it's your child.

Wow, all this quality, bonding time is wonderful. Thanks! Next week I'll bring cyanide to share.

"I make sure I do 1 to 2 hours of exercise a day. But of course, it's lovely to see that you're not too worried about getting back into shape."
~ That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day. I'll be sure to remember your compliment when you're standing behind my reversing car."

Experiences like that made me far more comfortable with the idea of going back to work. Because at work I have an office door which I can shut and the loonies just dribble and blubber on the other side. That makes it easier to ingore them.

Working, specifically away from home, has other advantages too. For me anyway.

I make way more money blogging from a workplace than I would at home (although I'm sure HR would have something to day about it). And work is more likely to get some sort of productive action out of me, by making me hoof it to work every day. Because while work only has access to Blogger and Google -home has Austar, my bed, my couch, unrestricted access to the internet and a fridge and pantry.

Working from home, for me, would simply turn into being paid to watch telly while surfing the net, eating chocolate and drinking coffee.

Hang on... why would that be a problem?

Oh, right. Focus...

Working away from home also means that I have some "grown up" time. I have conversations about things other than toilet training, what the Toddler's friends have stuck up their noses recently and, most importantly, I don't have to discuss all those things that I do differently from other Mum's and therefore I must be wrong.

But, you know, those of us who are lucky enough to not have to work, or get to work from home, and don't have children, are judged just as harshly. Because what on earth could they possibly have to fill their time without children?

And I think it's just not fair. For some reason, no matter what choices we make, there is always someone out there who is going to make a judgement and tell us we're wrong.

We're wrong for wanting to stay at home with our children. We're wrong for wanting to go back to work, in any capacity, if we have children. We're wrong for not wanting to have children at all. We're wrong for having children later. We're wrong for having children younger. We're wrong for having an only child. We're wrong for having more than 1 child. We're wrong for making any choice that is percieved to be in contradiction to our situation.

But who the hell decided that?

Whether we stay home, work from home or work from a separate building that doesn't have the luxuries of Google, we are all doing our part and doing what's right for our OWN lives. We should be proud of that!

Although if you do work at Google, then you have nothing to complain about. And you wouldn't schlep to work - you'd get there in your personalised, self driving, super car of the future. But only if the company jet was unavailable.

In the end we all have different situations, financial responsibilities and wants in life. Not a single one is better or worse than the other. If we were all stinking rich and didn't need to work then our friends would be like Paris Hilton and Donald Trump's hairpiece would be a style move.

Personally, that's not a world I want to live in.

If we all had nothing, well, chances are the world would be a more co-operative place and we'd be more willing to help eachother rather than blowing eachother up. Maybe. It could also end in anarchy and people becoming more greedy for the little that they do have.

I don't know - Russia tried it and it looks like it didn't work out too well.

But this post isn't about trying to solve the problems of the world. This is about recognising that we all make an impact on this world, no matter what we do with ourselves during the day.

We need to remind eachother that we do a fantastic job and we deserve to be proud of ourselves every day, even just for getting out of bed, because there are days for all of us where that's a mission in itself.

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

So forget the shadows and remember why the sun shines. Because it does, every day.