"The Time Has Come", The Walrus said...

Not  "to talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages--and kings..."

But to discuss the fact that The Man and his brother made such strides towards the current renovation project in our home, over the weekend, I thought there must have been vodka in the drinking water.

It looks like this baby will actually have a room, and I'm no longer eyeing off the fan blades in the lounge room as a potential 'cot' because I won't have anywhere to put a real one.

I'll admit, it was a risk letting the two of them take on the demolition. The Man and his brother are terrifyingly accident prone. If something could possibly happen, it inevitably will. It's in their DNA.

I married the one in red...

In true family style, they proceeded to remove gyprock and other miscellaneous building materials from our home with a ladder that was too short, no shoes, no safety glasses, bare hands and with the electricity still running through the house while hammering and chiseling into the wall...that contains the central power board.

I suppose their main line of safety was that beer would not be consumed on the job.

Thank fuck.

Somehow, the only 'massive' injuries sustained were a chisel into the hand (brother) and near impalement with a section of wood that only amounted to massive bruising (The Man). I was informed that he truly has 'balls of steel' because that was what got in the way.

Bandaids and laughter appeared to be the remedy.

Very few nails were stepped on, and each had the courtesy of warning one another whenever they did so. Because, you know, removing them would have been sensible.

When pondering how to thank The Brother for all his hard work, it occured to me the best thank you gift would be a tetanus shot and offering to stitch up his hand. Or just get him home alive to his wife and their unborn child.

Happily, the construction of the new wall and relocation of the door frame will be done by someone else entirely. Although he is an army bud of The Brother, so safety standards could be questionable.

I'll just take Miss 3 to the park and pretend it's not happening.

But in the meantime, I have to try and appear knowledgeable while The Man talks to me about what the electrician will need to do, and data cables, and practical locations for power points and light switches and fan controls and how easy it will be to finish off the floor.

That's totally awesome, but in the meantime I'm more concerned about the gyprock being fixed in the adjoining wall, since the demolition wasn't *strictly* controlled and has now spread to Miss 3's bedroom too.

We are 15 weeks away from blast off in my uterus, and I feel like the space is 25 weeks away from completion. But I have every confidence it will be done in time.

Whether or not the brother's end up in the hospital ward next to me is something we'll have to wait and see...

It's all a secret plot...

So, driving to work yesterday morning I hear on the radio that apparently Sesame Street has a secret.

Sesame Street is brainwashing the world!

But Sesame Street is not alone. Oh no, Friends, Oprah and even Macgyver are all in on the plot. Apparently, author Ben Shapiro believes that TV shows are being used to brainwash people, specifically American's, into a left-wing society.

To be honest, when I read this article all I saw initially was that his theory is called 'The Big Bird Manifesto' and he thinks people are being dragged into a left-wing society.

Get it?

Big Bird...left wing...

Well, I laughed.  Ahem.

But to be honest, I sort of felt like this guy has the wheel spinning but the hamster is dead. Sorry Mr Shapiro.

I mean, Sesame Street teaches civil disobedience? Really? Unless Big Bird is strutting around in an army uniform with a grenade launcher on his shoulder, I'm not quite sure I see where you're coming from.

Oprah - yeah, okay, she is a bit brainwash-y. But I'm not an Oprah fan. Anyone who can repeatedly invite Tom Cruise back to her show and not vomit, is not normal. But her reign of Tom Cruise Terror is over, so we can all move on.

As for Macgyver - holy cow dude, the show has been off the air for HOW LONG? And if anyone is sitting at home, craving a Macgyver re-run, well they've got bigger problems than Macgyver teaching them that 'gun's are bad, mmkay?'  Besides, Macgyver doesn't need a gun because he can make his own out of blu-tac, some tin foil and his own pubic hair.

Chances are I'm a bit simple, and I just don't have the brain power to really look into what Mr Shapiro is talking about. And maybe people like me are part of the problem - we're happy to laugh it off and continue to be brainwashed.

I'm okay - everyone in our street was out last night with beating sticks and banners wanting to 'take down the man' but we all rememberd that guns are bad, and so we left them at home. It wasn't just me, so obviously I'm not brainwashed.

I confess that there are some shows that make me do/buy/want things I wouldn't normally consider. But I put it down to glamourising it all - which is exactly the point of a television show, no?

For me, my top 5 brainwashing shows are:

MasterChef - Inspired: I want to go out and buy all the fresh ingredients I can find and bring it home and cook it. I want to go out and buy a new oven, a new fridge, new pots and pans. Hell, I want to renovate my kitchen right then and there! I feel like I could be the next Poh Ling Yeow... Uninspired: The reality is we don't have hoardes of helpers in the background that will clean up all the mess, make it all shiny and ready for another sudden death challenge in the kitchen. And I also don't have their skill, passion or creativity with food, so it's only going to end in tears. Mine.

Paranormal State - Inspired: Suddenly I want to move to the US and hunt ghosts. Awesome. Uninspired: I'd spend all my time wanting to cry and run away to my Mum.

Renovation/Decorating shows - Inspired: I want to become an interior designer. It's all so much fun - the shopping, the putting stuff in rooms and the stepping back and admiring your handiwork. Uninspired: I'll have to get back to you...

Sex and the City - Inspired: I have an intense and sudden desire to buy shoes. And impractical clothing. And lots of it. Uninspired: Yeah, I don't have the budget, body or confidence to be tackling the shoes or the clothes. And the bit where Carrie says that she bought a copy of Vogue rather than dinner because she felt it fed her more, well, sorry babe, I'd have bought a steak.

From Here To Maternity - Inspired: I want another baby, and I want one NOW! Uninspired: Well, conception is a very specific thing, not always in line with my sudden 'baby surges' and no matter how much those shows make my uterus ache, it'll happen when it happens. Nature sucks. But that doesn't mean we stop trying!

So tell me, what shows are brainwashing you into a completely different life? What stops you? What made it happen for you?