Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Awesome Stuff Vs. WTF Stuff

Awesome Stuff

So the Guru and the Toddler surprised me on Sunday.

When the Guru mentioned that something I've drooled over for quite a while would be arriving that day, I couldn't work out how he managed to get Johnny Depp into an Australia Post bag.

And while I was sad to see the parcel was smaller that Johnny, I was intrigued.

Cue jaw-dropping-stunned-silence as I was presented with:

iRobot Roomba 577
The following thoughts occurred to me while staring at the round object of house cleaning magic...
  1. He actually listened. He heard me. Wait, what...!?
  2. I've seen YouTube videos of cats riding these. I'd like that to happen here.
  3. With the touch of a button my child could clean the floor for me!
  4. With the touch of a button my husband could clean the floor for me!
  5. With the touch of a button I can wash dishes, and with another button, clean the floor. And then go out shopping! Wait, who am I kidding? I'll actually be going to work.
  6. I wonder how far away the automated washing machine system is? Can I speed up the process?
I tried it out for the first time that afternoon. I had vacuumed earlier in the day and was internally gloating that it was fruitless, it would find NOTHING!

Shortly thereafter the gloating turned to shame.

The reign of the robots has arrived in our home. And thank god for that.

WTF Stuff

So I was reading the paper this morning while making coffee and found that the NT Police have just taken delivery of this:


Image from the NT News: The 'Bear Cat'
That's right - they now have a Land Rover with a full metal jacket.

According to the NT News: "Territory police have received a new power weapon in the country's fight against terrorism. The $400,000 hi-tech armoured rescue vehicle, dubbed Bear Cat, weighs nine tonnes and is bullet-proof and blast-resistant."

And according to the NT Police Commissioner: "The "new tool in the kit bag" was hoped to combat life-threatening situations, including acts of terrorism and sieges."

So I'm thinking there will be new methods for bringing justice to Darwin.

Read up people! You do the crime, you'll do the time...

Offence: Hooning
Punishment: Your car will be crushed by the Bear Cat...while you're still inside

Offence: Speeding
Punishment: Your car will be crushed by the Bear Cat and you will be chased by the Bear Cat, maintaining a minimum land speed of 60km/hr

Offence: Not wearing a seatbelt
Punishment: Your car will be crushed by the Bear Cat and you will be saddled up and ridden home by a mounted Police Officer

Offence: Expired registration
Punishment: Your car will be crushed by the Bear Cat and you will be mummified in expired rego stickers
 
Offence: Not stopping at a red light/stop sign
Punishment: Your car will be crushed by the Bear Cat and you will be utilised as a speed bump at the scene of your folly
 
Offence: Armed robbery
Punishment: You will be gunned down by the automatic weapon mounted on the Bear Cat, and then put in jail to think about what you've done
 
Offence: Petty Theft
Punishment: See Armed robbery
 
Offence: Break and Enter
Punishment: See Armed robbery
 
The NT has gone bad-ass. Or just completely insane.
 
 

3 comments :

  1. Congrats on the cute little Roomba. Totally envious.


    As for the car.. thing... Im just gonna go with WTF.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jealous - of your little helper.
    Are they as wonderful as I be thinking?
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jealous - of your little helper.
    Are they as wonderful as I be thinking?
    :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

Straight to Your Inbox, Baby

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