Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Fresh Horses Brigade: Farewell...

It's not the kind of thing I thought I would be writing on the day before my birthday, but Eden calls and, she always has such compelling requests, I can't say no.

Planning your funeral was always something I thought should be done by your family and/or friends. The people who knew you best. But apparently I was very, very wrong if you listen to all those Insurance Line advertisements on TV. Apparently I should be planning it myself, and have the money ready and waiting.

Well, excuse me for not rushing out to buy the insurance - I'll fully admit I'm one of those people who is superstitious. As in if I have a funeral insurance policy, or if I write my will, it means I'll die.

And I'm so not ready to do that.

But I can't deny that my death is something I've thought about. I shared some fears not long ago. And I still fear death with the chilling worry of someone who has too much to live for. Which is a good thing. The day I no longer fear death I think will be the day it takes me.

So I shall live forever. Awesome.

But Eden is specifically after the song we would play at our funeral.

My Mum is very open about death, and was even looking into a career as a mortician. Until she took up nursing...moving on...and has told me about various scenarios she's considered for her funeral. One of her ideas was to have something rigged up to make her hand wave as people leave.

Because we all know how freakin' awesome a funeral would be if the dead person waved goodbye. Not.

I know she wants to be cremated. Her claustrophobia means the thought of laying for eternity in a narrow box with the lid bolted shut is the worst thing I could ever do to her, short of putting her in it while she's still alive. So cremation it is. And as for the music, well - I'm still not too sure about her choices. But it doesn't have to appeal to me, so here we go...

When people enter the chapel she wants Fastball's 'The Way'.

"...the children woke up
And they couldn't find them
They left before the sun
Came up that day...
They just drove off and
Left it all behind them..."

That's what my Mum loves about that song. If I was a small child, I'd be worried about my Mum packing up and pissing off without me. Now, I'm not worried about her going, her sense of direction is awful.

At the end, she wants Monty Python's 'Bright Side of Life' playing. And for people to be made to stay and listen/watch the clip. Even if I have to handcuff them to the chairs.

I can totally do that.

As for me...well, I'm not entirely sure.

There are a few possibilities, I suppose. A few songs that speak to me and I'd like people to think of me when they hear them - in a positive way.

The first is probably the most 'tragic'. A friend from Canada used to roll her eyes every time I played this and would tell me how it was "always the slow dance song at all the prom's". But I love this song, and we don't have prom's in Australia, so she can bite my arse...

I would listen to the full Enigma CD when falling asleep and this song always stuck with me. The lyrics are prophetic, in a way, because when we die I like to think we're not frightened, but that we relive everything wonderful from our life and get to start again with the same soul, but a different body.

The second is just a beautiful song that I love...

"...In the sun, I'll wait for you..."

Because I hope that's how it will be.

Death is such a huge empty space on the radar - and people spend their whole lives asking the question 'what happens'? And if they ever get an answer I'll be the first in line to get it. Maybe that's why it's so frightening - it's the only 'true unknown' we have. In a world where 'the unknown' is simply another title for 'I'll Google it', where we know the ins and outs of our own DNA, the idea that there is something we can't Google or get a straight answer for is worrying.

But I like to think it's a place we'll all be happy. Besides, no one has come back to say it's shite!

To check out more music and, possibly, some interesting ideas for your own funeral, pop over to Edenland.

Fuck I hope writing this post doesn't mean I'll die. I'm still not getting insurance.

Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

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