Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

My first ever foodie post - Red Velvet Cupcakes

Usually I'm not one for sharing recipes. Anyone will tell you that I'm not known for producing food.

Known for destroying the stomach lining of my family? Yes. Known for having to throw away cookware that was fine before I got to it? Damn right.

As a result, The Man has requested that I NEVER make lasagne again.

But I've been doing a bit more in the realm of baking since I became a 'lady of not-really-leisure-but-that's-what-people-think-when-I-say-I'm-a-SAHM'. It's had it's good days and it's bad.

Today, I did a trial run of the cupcakes I'll be making for Hermione's birthday party in a couple of weeks. In the past, I wouldn't bother. I have an almost 5 year old, and those 4 birthday parties have given me plenty of experience to be confident in making a batter and then baking! Well, that's what you'd think anyway.

Tragically, it's my baking experience that has taught me I should always make a trial of anything, not to mention that someone else should be asked to proof read the recipe and then double check all the labels on all the things I plan on mixing together.

I blogged my near miss with mass poisoning. I'll give you a minute to refresh.

See. I can't be trusted.

However, today, I managed to overcome my massive failings and actually produce something perfectly edible. Which is typical - now we have a dog that will eat anything, I become Nigella-fucking-Lawson.

And so, without further ado, I present you with a recipe and pictures!


* 2 cups plain flour
* 1/4 cup cocoa powder
* 1tsp bi carb soda (and this isn't a typo, it's 100% bi carb soda, not baking powder)
* 1 cup buttermilk
* 200g unsalted butter, melted
* 2 eggs
* 1tbs white vinegar
* 1tbs vanilla extract
* 1-2 tsp red food colouring (I use gel rather than a liquid as a little goes a long way and you get a richer colour. You might need more or less depending on what shade of red you're looking for)

* 2x250g packets of cream cheese, room temperature
* 2 cups icing sugar
* 120g unsalted butter, room temperature
* 1tsp vanilla extract

* Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
* Sift flour, cocoa, caster sugar and bi-carb soda.
* Whisk buttermilk, melted butter, eggs, vinegar and vanilla until combined.
* Combine wet and dry ingredients together until just combined and add the food colouring, until you achieve the colour you desire.
* Pour mixture evenly between cupcake cases and bake for 25 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean.
* Allow cupcakes to cool completely before frosting.

* Combine cream cheese, butter and vanilla until smooth.
* Sift in icing sugar and combine.
* Use a piping bag to frost your cupcakes, or simply apply with a knife. Decorate as desired.

Because Hermione is having a Parisian Cafe themed birthday party, I decided to use edible glitter lightly dusted over the frosting with some edible pink pearls.

They turned out quite nice, even if I do say so myself!

So there you have it - a baking success with no casualties. The cupcakes are lovely and moist and the cream cheese adds just the right amount of savoury to cut through the sweet of the chocolate cupcake.

When I make these next time I'm going to be more liberal with the frosting. I was restrained this time as I didn't want to drown the cake.
Apparently I've never met me. The words 'too', 'much' and 'icing' have never even passed through my brain before, so I have no idea what the hell was going on in my kitchen today.

If you try these, please let me know how you get on and if you have any hints or tips for working with cupcakes please feel free to share.

The girls gave them 5/5 finger licks.

It's a miracle!!!!

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