Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

It's a weekend - of chores.

I find I can work better under pressure - it's no good giving me something with a deadline 6 months into the future - tell me you need it 4 weeks out and I'm your girl.

I've always been this way. All through school, my best work was devised in the wee hours of the morning an assignment was due.

Now I'm at work I find I'm far more efficient if I have competing deadlines, something due on top of something else and then something due on top of that.

If I have too long to think about things I often over think it and the quality isn't as good.

Yeah, sounds strange I know, but it's how I roll.

So why does it irk me so much when the Guru chooses to tell me we're going to have someone visit, the morning they're due to pop round? I love last minute things - but last minute tidying and rushing around to make the house look less like a rubbish tip and more like a respectable home just doesn't fly with me.

In fact - it makes me quite angry.

But I'm finding it hard to stay angry because the Toddler is currently trying to trim my toenails.

Yeah, our family is all class. I'm just grateful she's not using her teeth.

So back to the point. I'm now aware that we've got someone coming over today. And I'd much rather meet them at a cafe to catch up. But the Guru wants to show her around the house.

I may just tip him upside-down and use his head as a broom and a mop.

It's Saturday - I don't want to clean. I can't be bothered. I thought that would be evident by the pile of dishes accumulating in the sink. Apparently that's not obvious enough.

Maybe I'll stop taking the rubbish out and let it spill on to the floor? Would that be proof enough of how much I don't want to clean and how much I don't want to have people over this weekend?

Yes, I'm showing my anti-social side. But I'm also showing my love of cafe's and other places to eat and meet friends. Places that have staff to clean. Paid staff. That I don't have.

If the cleaning faeries decided to pay me a visit I'd be extremely grateful - for about 5 minutes until the Guru and the Toddler destroyed the cleanliness and I wanted the faeries to come back again.

Maybe that's why cleaning - no matter how good you feel after it's done - is so completely unsatisfying in the long term. Short of wrapping the entire house in a filth repelling layer of something...for example...

Uploaded to Flickr by a_fake_mail
...I'm not sure how to avoid the inevitable mess and disorder that will result once they enter my pristine environment.

No matter how much I scrub the toilet, our family are required to use it. And yes, I have considered making the Guru go to the neighbour's house and use their loo. He had a large problem with this, so the idea has been shelved for further consideration and review.

Overall I'm just waiting for the wave of hysteria to flow over me knowing I only have 2 hours before our visitor is due. Right about then my alter-ego will show up and a miracle will occur.

When I'm cleaning the Guru imagines something like this will be flitting around the house...

The poor man is obviously deluded. The reality is actually something more like this...

And now, looking at the clock it's about that time where Super-Mario-Cleaning-Nut makes her appearance and gets the job done.

Have a lovely Saturday all!!


  1. Nothing a good beating wouldn't cure.
    Kick his ass. :(

  2. I'm totally addicted to etsy now too. I never shop anywhere else!!! Hope you have a lovely weekend. Sorry about the cleaning! No fun!


Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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