Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

What's in a name?

So I've been thinking about names recently. I always think about names - potential names for the next potential member of our family. But I have also been smacked in the face by a 'WTF' moment when I read the name of Jamie & Jools Oliver's new son.

I mean, they have certainly been creative in the past with 3 daughters named Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela and Petal Blossom Rainbow.

I like how for the first 2 they obviously tried to incorporate a reasonable name. And then Petal just lost out because it obviously got too hard.

But personally, I don't think I've ever woken up, or been sitting at my desk and overcome with the desire to bestow a name like Buddy Bear Maurice upon my child.

Seriously. W. T. F.

I know, I know  - I'm being judgmental and awful. And it's every parent's right to name their child what they want to. That's the beauty of being a parent - all those names you really wanted to be called as a child you can now use for your own family.

But never - like, NEVER did I have a friend who said to me 'oh, I wished my name was Buddy Bear Maurice so I'm going to use that for our new baby'. Usually, as a kid, you loved to pretend your name was something like Superman, or Spiderman or Tinkerbell (and if you were me you fell in love with the idea of being called Periwinkle. Yeah, don't ask...) but at the end of the day you knew they were actually names better left to the superheroes and faeries.

Or not.

If you happen to be the child of Nicholas Cage you could actually score Superman's name. And not just his crappy hero name, but his actual birth name (yeah, who the hell knew Superman had a 'birth name'!?).


Yup. That's it.

And while we're on names with a hyphen in them - I thought I'd share this little pearl with you...

How would you pronounce this child's name?
 She spells her name..... "Le-a"

So... how would YOU pronounce her name?

Leah? No

Lee-A? Nope

Lay-a? Still nope

Lei? Guess again!

This child's mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. She says it's pronounced................."Ledasha".

When the Mother was asked how she came up with that....... she said......."cos the dash don't be silent!"

So, if you see a name come across your desk like this... please remember to pronounce the dash.

You are now a better person for having this knowledge and you'll no longer struggle to work out where you can insert a 'dash' into your child's name without adding all those pesky letters.

But my favourite thing to do is to create a story out of the celebrity child names I come accross...

The Fluffy White Kitten.

Frank & Gail Zappa - Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Muffin. One day a little girl bought a fluffy white kitten and named it Diva Muffin.

Sylvester Stallone - Sage Moon Blood.  Sadly the fluffy kitten was mudered by a rival gang of short hair kittens. The little girl became Sage in her mood. She looked to the Moon for guidance and saw Blood.

Penn & Emily Jillette - Moxie Crime Fighter. So she took this sign and became Moxie: Crime Fighter. Her mission? To defend all fluffy kittens and to avenge her fluffy kitten's death. Short hair kittens....beware...

Jason Lee - Pilot Inspektor. Once the little girl's knees gave out after all the building jumping and short hair kitten hunting, she took on a new job. Her crime fighting days were over, but her Pilot Inspektor days were just beginning.

John Mellencamp - Speck Wildhorse. In her new job, her code name was Speck Wildhorse- 'cos if you didn't let her in'Speck you properly, she'd go Wildhorse all over yo' ass!

The End.

So there you have it. What's in a name? If you have (un-hinged) famous parents, a story.

If you have every day parents...well, chances are you'll simply avoid getting a permanent super-wedgie at school because your name is Ruby and not Periwinkle.


  1. Hi Kel, thanks for the lovely comments on my blog! The recipe for the chocolate chip cookies is hyperlinked to the words chocolate chip cookies is the post:) hope you make them!! Enjoy!! Hope to see you around soon!


  2. BAHAHAHA!!! This entire post made me almost die laughing. Thanks for visiting the blog. I'm following you....for sure.


Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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