Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

So now what?

So we've been trying for another baby for a while now. Since January. And so far, nothing.

I went to my GP a fortnight ago to have a chat about it, and she sent me off for some blood tests. I got a call with the results today.

"Tests suggest ovulation. Good luck!"

For some reason knowing that I am ovulating, while it's great, doesn't give me any comfort right now.

I know, it's a very, very good result and it means no having to go down the medical intervention road. But at the moment all I can think is 'so if there's an egg there, why is there no baby?'

The Guru and I have been talking about the baby situation recently, trying to work out what we'd do depending on the results.

We both agreed that if there was something happening and it was going to end up being an IVF situation, we'd stick with one bubba and leave it at that.

But it turns out there's no problem. There's no reason why it hasn't happened yet.

We discussed what we'd do if I fell pregnant soon, given that we've just moved to a 3 bedroom home, from a 4 bedroom home. What it would mean in terms of immediate changes that would have to happen regarding room reconfiguration and the study becoming a nursery.

It would mean a lot. A lot of time and a lot of money. More so than a new baby costs - and we all know how exxy that can be! And it's going to be even worse this time around because I have discovered all sorts of amazing things since the Toddler was born and I want to buy EVERYTHING I can get my hands on. Including the new Strider Plus pram - in the newly released white/silver colour. It's not even in the shops yet.

Maybe the Guru is putting birth control pills in my coffee for fear of the shopping spree that will ensue upon the news of a new addition to the family. Maybe he fears bankruptcy and homeless-ness?

Well he shouldn't be worried. He should know that we couldn't live in an elevated, 3 bedroom cardboard box. It's too wet here, our box would disintegrate in the first wet season downpour.

Or maybe that's not the point? Whatever.

There was talk of deferring another baby until after we've done our 5 year plan/renovations. But that's too long to wait. We don't want that kind of age gap...and I don't know that I would want to start all over again after being out of baby-land for so long.

So to give myself some form of comfort I am trying to accept that maybe the time's just not right. That fate has decided there will be another baby, but just not right this second. That it needs to wait until we've completed some reno's to make life easier when the time comes.
 
But fate, your logic sucks and your timing is rubbish. So get a move on - I'm in a hurry! But I always am...

3 comments :

  1. Did you struggle to have your first little one Kel? If not, then I wouldn't worry. It'll happen. I often think like this as well... I really (seriously) don't want another bub yet, but I sometimes wonder how hard it will be 2nd time around (with non-existant periods making conception difficult!).
    Good luck- try not to stress yet :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Actually, the Toddler was easy as pie! She was a Honeymoon baby ;) Maybe that's whay I'm impatient and frustrated this time because the Toddler was so easy to conceive and this time is turning out a little bit different. I have cycles that are all over the place (anywhere from 31 to 60 days) but they were clockwork before I had the Toddler. I'm sure everything is happening the way it is for a reason - I'm just a very impatient person (can you tell? LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh hun.
    I wish I had something to help.
    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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