Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Friday, 5 November 2010

Is there really a good way to say goodbye?

This week one of my colleagues resigned.

She is swanning off to Perth to live a life of luxury with her family. Sigh...I can only dream at this point.

I felt immensely special that she asked me how to write her letter of resignation. It may have only been because we share an office and she couldn't be bothered going out to reception to ask someone else, but I felt special all the same.

And it occurred to me - what is the best resignation letter?

Lately we have been belly-aching about work. Ergo, my suggestion was:

"Dear work,
F*^k off,
Love Colleague"

But it was decided that this may not be appropriate...what if she came back and wanted a job here (insert snorts of laughter)?

Another option...

Again, this may give the wrong matter how close to the truth it may be.

So we toyed with the idea of letting work down gently.

"Dear work,
You are the light of my life, and you have made my working life so joyful and fulfilling that it makes my husband and children seem almost pointless when I have to return to them. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I'm leaving. It's not you, it's me. I will always think of you fondly and remember the good times we had, but the time has come for me to move on.
Please don't be sad, we will still be close and you can check on my progress through my Facebook page.
All my love,

But sickly sweet doesn't quite cut it either. And just writing that took 20 minutes between the retching and hysterical mirth it induced in the room.

And so we come to the obvious choice of today's workforce.

TWEET IT! doesn't have Twitter, and we can't access it over our internet connection. Something about social networking sites being blocked...ignore the fact that I'm blogging...

Well, I suppose standard and boring is the best choice, but perhaps we can spice it up a bit?

"Dear work,
It is with regret that I advise my last working day will be 19 November 2010. It has been a pleasure working here, but our family has been given an opportunity elsewhere that we would like to take.
I thank you very much for the turmoil of 2 major resturctures and the fear of redundancy in as many years, and my post-traumatic stress counsellor thanks you for the business. My husband and children thank you for the opportunity to walk on eggshells around me for fear of what might have happened at work to set me off, and hope that you're able to find someone else to mentally cripple quickly and easily.
If the opportunity comes to work with you again, please feel free to pass the opportunity to another unsuspecting fool person to enjoy.
I wish you all the best for your future endeavours to mentally incapacitate the remainder of the workforce.
Kind regards

Ah, there we have it.

Now, where's the email for HR??


Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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