Without a cattle prod I'm hopeless...

So it looks like I'm going to bite the bullet and join a gym.

Oh god - just saying those words makes me feel a little uneasy. The thought of joining in a group of people all flexing and admiring their reflections in the floor to ceiling mirrors and discussing their steriod gym regimes.

I'm not the most confident person on the planet (hence the lack of auditions for any form of reality TV series), but I need to do this. I need to swallow my embarrassment and get my butt into gear.

And I need to do something for myself. I am going to be selfish and horrible, and take some time for myself. I don't like the way I look, and I don't like the way I feel. I want my clothes to fit properly again, rather than having a few key pieces and having a closet full of clothes I can look at. The zippers recoil in fear if I reach out to touch them. They don't want their precious shape to be wrecked by my hippo-like appearance.

Fair enough.

But the walking thing, while it;s great socially, isn;t really cutting it for my arse.

And I know that without someone there to push me, motivate me and encourage me I won't bother. Without the cattle prod looming over me I just won't try.

Also, the guilt of knowing I am paying for a gym membership will be enough to make me use it.

I've taken the first step and I've gone to collect the paperwork. It all looks quite sensible and clear. The gym limits it's membership to 100 people so there's no crowds and there's always equipment available. When I dropped past at 1:15pm today the place was empty...and the treadmills and steppers are set up at a panoramic window which overlooks the Arafura sea.

It's the gym with the best view I've ever seen! And I like the idea that sometimes I might be the only one in the room.

I couldn't see any mirrors which was also a huge plus in my book. And they have Pilates. Squee!!

So I'll pitch it to the Guru tonight and see how I go. Personally I think there shouldn't be any argument.

Last time I checked, he was buggering off to Bali for Easter. And once I have my membership to the gym, I'll be able to spend time on the treadmill thinking of the other things that will make us even.