Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Dear Insurance Company...

You're making my head bleed.

Did you know that?

We were robbed on 17 May 2011. That means you've been arsing around for 4 Months and 17 Days.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love that you've settled about 20% of the claim and I am thrilled to have electronics replaced. That's wonderful.

What I don't love is getting a letter in the mail saying that we need to pay our excess on one of our cars because The Guru smacked someone up the arse (don't ask - when it happened I wanted to strangle him.) and they want their car fixed.

Well, that's lovely. Good for them.

CAN I ASK WHY YOU'VE DEALT WITH THEIR CRAP IN LESS THAN A MONTH AND WE'RE STILL JUMPING THROUGH YOUR HOOPS!?

Seriously - I thought you asking for a second quote 2 months after we supplied the first was annoying. But sending The Guru an email yesterday saying that you now need "Statutory Declarations from the people who gifted the items with a full description of the item, plus photo's of all the items and people wearing them" - well, this makes me feel stabby.

Very stabby.

Given your request, I will have to ask for your patience. It might take me some time to get my grandmother's to sign the pieces of paper, and let me take photographs modelling our family heirlooms.

You know - considering they're dead.

Oh, and that's right - THE ITEMS WERE STOLEN YOU JACK-ARSES!

I don't go around putting in claims for things I still have in my possession. It would certainly make this whole process redundant.

And do you honestly think if I had photo's that I would have spent hours trying to sketch everything down to the last detail?

My final assessment of you is that you're a bunch of dickheads. In future, I would appreciate if you would keep to the facts in your product disclosure statement. You could fit it on the back of your business card! Save printing all those booklets which are a waste of paper when a simple sentence will cover all your bases.

'We love premiums and making your head bleed. For all claims phone 1800-HAHAHA-WE-HAVE-YOUR-MONEY'.

The truth will set you free.

Straight to Your Inbox, Baby

Check it Out

Follow Anything, Everything & Inbetween Liebster Blog Award Digital Parents