Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Taking control...

On Tuesday I went to the GP.

Now, to get it out of the way, quick smart - I did a test (in relation to this post) and it came back with nada.

My response was somewhat ambivalent - disappointed but not surprised.

I spent a few days mulling everything over in my mind. I thought about all the check up's I've had and all the things that have happened since the Toddler was born. It became clear to me that something was up. My GP hadn't said anything to me and seemed more focused on trying to diagnose me with diabetes, than anything else.

So I went to my GP clinic, all guns blazing, ready to demand that tests be done and for them to stop dicking around diabetes and start poking around elsewhere!

I was going to start by standing on the exam bed, puffing on a tongue depresser while sipping champagne from a specimen cup and announce "I have a dream - a dream to be a mother for a second time..."

But it did seem overly dramatic. Even though I thought it had merit.

Instead I announced that I wanted to go back on the pill - just to see if it would help my cycles get back on track.

The GP looked over my notes, checked me over, looked me in the eye and said 'has anyone mentioned Poly Cystic Ovarian Sydnrome to you?'

My response was a no, but that I wasn't surprised because I have a strong family history of it. After a chat about my history she said it's likely no one thought of it because I fell pregnant with the Toddler so easily. She said that PCOS might have been there for a long time but, because I was on the pill since I was a teen and only stopped about 8 weeks before I fell pregnant the first time, it didn't have time to develop and cause an issue.

So I've been bled once again - but this time I feel like it's a move in the right direction. Almost makes it worth the several stabs that yielded nothing before they sucked it out of my hand.

I find it funny that when I finally get up the courage to approach my GP with my thoughts, I get someone who not only listened but didn't make me feel like a dick for trying to voice my concerns.  I'm not saying that the other GPs I've seen have been dismissive or uncaring - more that they seemed so focused on trying to find what they wanted to find, the other possibilities were pushed aside.

I work with GPs every day. And when it comes to my work I don't think twice about voicing my opinion and telling them what's what. But my own health? I sit in the consult room and feel like I'm 5 again, and they know my health better than I do.

But they don't. And I forget that so easily. In a way, I think we all do. Yes, our GP is there to help and guide us with our health - but only we know how it feels, how often and where.

If I've learnt nothing else this week, it's that I should never feel silly for taking control of my own health. It's my body, and I have every right to say if I feel something more is going on than what is visible outwardly. It's not about me knowing better than my GP, and it's not about my GP knowing better than me. It's about working together for the best outcome.

Hopefully, for our little family, the best is yet to come.

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