Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Block-Rage...It's Bigger than Road-Rage...

I've confessed my love for The Block previously. It's 'my show' and I require solitude and silence to appreciate it.

Thank god for Austar and the ability to record things. Otherwise I'd never to get to see anything other than the thrill that is 'Mickey Mouse Club House'.

Although the silence I crave is usually shattered by hysterical screaming and threats to throw things at the TV screen.

It has nothing to do with Miss 3 or The Man. Nope. All the shenanigans are from me.

I've been clinically diagnosed by The Man as having a severe case of 'Block-Rage'.

It's usually brought on by judges who can't seem to tell the difference between a finished room that should win and an incomplete room that shouldn't. They also don't seem to realise that a room painted entirely in navy blue with a hideous green throw on a bed does NOT deserve a score more than zero.

Image from The Age

Do you know how hard it was to find a picture of this room in all it's gory glory? If you look on The Block's official website, they're too ashamed to put a pic of the whole room up. They just choose arty-farty shots that look at certain points in the room.

Spew.

I don't care if that stupid woman did spend $3,000 on bed linen ALONE. Just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's in good taste.

Case in point: Donald Trump...

Money clearly has no place in a wig store...
He has all the money in the world and yet he chooses to wear the hair of a 'ranga' badger on his head.

Idiot.

But my 'Block-Rage' can also be inflamed by contestants who spend their time grinding tiles in front of churches at 1:30am and getting pissy when they're called on it. I also find it hard to keep my blood pressure under control when these people either crack the shits for losing a challenge, or become the most disgusting winners ever by carrying on like a pair of pork chops.

Am I slightly over-involved? Yes.

Is it really worth losing my sanity over a TV show? No...yes

Will I ever regain control of myself? Maybe. Once the show has been over for 12 months.

But for now I am happy raging along and wanting to poke forks into the eyes of the judges. For some reason, Masterchef just doesn't invoke this kind of spontaneous-combustion-inducing rage.

Maybe that's because when food is bad, everyone knows it. There aren't people hanging around saying "Although the beef tongue is like chewing an old boot, this is so 'out there' that it has to be regarded as modern, chic food".

No. When tongue is served up, they spit it out. And make no apologies for the fact that your cooking on that day was crap-tacular.

Hear that Block Judges?! When it's wrong, it's wrong. It's not cool, it's not edgy - it's just plain wrong.

Look it up and use it more often.

Sadly it will mean that Dan and Dani never again win a room...

But I can live with that.



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