Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Thursday, 29 July 2010

Insomniacs Anonymous

Well - I thought I would spend the last 15 minutes of my 'awake' time writing this. Because I promised myself that I would find a way to go to bed at a decent hour tonight. And as far as I'm concerned, if that's before midnight then I'm blitzing my bedtime record for this week!

I don't know what's going on - but I can't sleep. I do, eventually, but it's restless and it takes forever for me to doze off. Maybe I have too much rushing around my already full head?

Or maybe at the moment I'm just a product of my environment? My environment being full of upheaval, emotion, frustration, anxiety and exhaustion. And we have so many decisions to make in the next few weeks I just feel like leaving a 'Be Right Back' sign on my life. Or like when the bear starts mauling the handler on a live TV show and the 'Technical Difficulty' screen pops up with the strange lift music. That's exactly where I'm at - I'm experiencing technical difficulties and we will return to our regular programming shortly. In the meantime, please enjoy this fine selection of bagpipe tunes...

I don't feel like running off for any terrible reason - I think I'm just feeling mildly burnt out. And being a bit crispy around the edges is making me a little sensitive to things that wouldn't normally bother me. But that's not surprising, it's a fine example of stress and anxiety. I am proud to be a typical specimen.

But I do want to get my spark back. It's been waning for a little while now and it's starting to be a bit of a downer. I much prefer the fully functioning version of myself. The Lite version of myself is a bit lacklustre.

But it will all be okay. Tomorrow is another day and I can have another crack at getting my shit together. And who knows, maybe I'll find a coin, pick it up and all the day I'll have good luck.

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