Sometimes I need a filter between my brain and my mouth.
This is not the way to get one.

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Oh, Wonders of the World...there are just so many...

I have discovered that there are some wonderful things in this world that have completely escaped me. And no, I'm not talking about the Pyramids or the 12 Apostles (although there's fewer and fewer of those left! I think it's a race with Venice to see who will be swallowed by the ocean money is on Venice...).

I have discovered the joy of Gumption!

You know the stuff I'm on about. It comes in a small white tub with a bright yelow lid and has green writing.

It's fabulous. And I've found that if I can't Gumption it, then chances are nothing other than fire or napalm will be getting it off. Sadly, I'm not allowed to use fire to clean ('Fair enough!' I hear you say...) and napalm may or may not be completely unethical.

Although when it comes to ants, I would love to have one of those flame throwers. I'm just saying.

And so I'm thinking that I will be happy forever as long as they continue to manufacture this tub of wonderful-ness. The day it stops being made I may go into withdrawls and sit in the corner with my last tub rocking it back and forth like a baby. Snarling at anyone who tried to crowbar it from my arms.

The result won't be pretty.

Another wonder that I've discovered is the power of water with my little swiffer-mop thingy. I don't think there is a single hard surface that thing can't make shine - I'd even put bets on a swiffer-mop vs. concrete!
I do like to use boiling water with it though. Just for the additional germ killing power of scorching hot water. And in the absence of any chemicals, scorching water is just not negotiable. And if it's hot enough to melt the tiles, then so much the better.

And I know I sound like a germophobe and that i must have my family wrapped in plastic. But I am a very firm believer in letting your child go out and get dirty. How on earth do you build immunity if you're never exposed to things!? Hence my pro-immunisation stance too.

But that fact aside, just because I think dirt is fine outside, doesn't meant I am prepared to live in a house with filth encrusted floors. We live in the 21st Century, not the 1st.

Be honest. Do you truly think that if people had a choice back then they would have seriously been happy with straw on the floor and soot everywhere from the fire? No, they wouldn't. Were it available, you know full well the housewives of the time would have been whipping the Dyson out from the laundry cupboard and hoovering all the floors and walls and telling her husband and children to keep their filth outside until she's done. She would have been putting Ambi-Pur all over the house to kill off the stench from the yard wafting in and she would have been cleaning all those stubborn stains with Gumption. And then proceeding to shine the floors with boling water and her swiffer-mop.

I'll admit, there may be some flaws with my thought, but...meh!

I am finding it increasingly difficult to stay awake at the moment. The Toddler still isn't 100% and we're still not even slightly unpacked. Difficult nights and moving house are a shite combination. Just to give you the heads up.

And on that note, I am going to try and shuffle my way to the shop for some lunch and liquid life (aka Coca Cola!) and hopefully make it through the day and home before crashing into a deep sleep.

Oh, feather down pillow and quilt...where are you when I need you...?


  1. Reading your post makes me think of evil houses that never stay clean(coughmalakcough).
    Thankfully my current house is much, much easier to keep clean. I actually like having people over again without the fear of people judging me!
    Though I wish I could just attach a vacuum to the cats... different story though.

  2. Hahaha, evil *coughmalakcough*
    Chances are by now the ants are renting the place and the tenants are living in holes in the yard!
    I still think the place needed to be fire-bombed
    because that green-earth-friendly-kill-the-ants-but-don't-kill-the-ants stuff that the hippie Canadian kept spraying around was freakin' useless! I mean, you're supposed to kill them, so bloody kill them already!
    Ugh, sorry for that rant. Those ants drove me up the wall and I know they drove you mental too.
    Thank god for modern homes that are easy to clean! And trust me, I never judged you for the Malak house because a) pregnant and b) that house is directly from hell and there was no amount of ANYTHING that was going to help. It was a hole, and we both know that.
    As for self-vacuuming cats - as soon as you get that one sorted I'd like to purchase 2 cat vacs.


Thanks for the comment - it helps validate the fact that I'm not just talking to myself.

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